16F had sex and Now Regretting It.

Pata hai aaj kya hua It’s like I’m regretting it now. I don’t know.

So yeah, I had sex with my boyfriend. He has been my friend for two years, and he proposed to me around four months ago. I don’t know. We ended up having sex. He didn’t push me for it or force me or anything like that. It wasn’t like that. He wanted to have sex and at that moment I also wanted to have sex, so we just did it at my place.

But now I’m sitting here thinking about it and regretting it. I keep asking myself if I really had to agree to it. Maybe I should have waited until marriage. I don’t know. My mind just keeps going back and forth.

I can’t really talk about this with my mom either. She’s not even here right now. She’s in another city for work and I’m just sitting alone at home thinking about everything and regretting it.

And the thing is, he is 17, and I’m going to turn 17 in like 13 days. Just 13 days. So I don’t even know why I feel this way right now.

Jeez, what have I done to myself? I honestly don’t know.

The guy is actually really nice. He’s pretty serious about me. I love him a lot. I really do. I honestly see a future with him. I know it might sound funny when two teenagers say they are seriously dating. Most older people I talk to, people in their twenties or thirties, they just laugh at us when we say that. But we actually are serious about each other.

That’s why this is messing with my head so much. I don’t know what to do. Should I regret it more? Should I just accept that it happened?

And the worst part is that we didn’t even use safety. He just said nothing would happen. Now I’m sitting here thinking about it and I honestly don’t know how fucked I am right now. I just don’t know.

(throwaway account)