32F confused in dating lol

It’s like if someone isn’t unhealthily obsessed w me and stalking me I’m like wondering if they like me! I am not on apps as of the past couple years. I was married and got divorced 8 years ago. No kids. I have been talking to a man the past couple months. We have been on 4 dates. I’m celibate. I think he is extremely healthy and calm, he’s also 45. He has expressed interest in me & has told me he likes me & wants to continue pursuing me. I have even met some of his friends. They are marvelous. I have never thought of myself as toxic. Maybe I am just anxious attachment? I don’t know. I think I am used to having the “upper hand” or being in control and I don’t quite feel that way because I am actually catching feelings for him. I don’t want to let myself like him because what if I like him more than he likes me? I guess that is vulnerability, and it is hard. I did door to door for ages so you’d think I would be okay with potential rejection. I want to get married and have a family so I need to push through this. But I’m just a little nervous & maybe a bit sad.