An unexpected partner in crime? (Haasha 38)

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One of the most important aspects of shuttle safety? You should not stand within 50 meters of a shuttle when it is taking off, nor should you be in a shuttle bay when a shuttle lands. Void suits cannot be guaranteed…

I rolled my eyes and looked up at the ceiling. I let out a sigh and let my arms flop down the sides of the chair towards the floor. Because I had failed the last safety exercise, I had to watch some “instructional” safety vids. One thing all training vids have in common? They assume you’re a complete moron incapable of eating a piece of fruit without an instructional diagram. 

Suddenly a happy little jingle filled the room and I groaned.

<Ba-da-ta-ta-ta-da!>

Please keep your eyes on the holoscreen. Safety is the primary concern for all crewmembers. Cremmember… Haasha… this is your third and final warning. Keep your eyes on the briefing or you will fail the course and be remanded for remedial training. 

You want to know what’s the worst part of human safety seminars? They use eyeball sensors to detect if you’re watching the vid. It’s not enough to attend and then sign something saying you paid attention and are responsible for blah blah blah. Or take a quiz to pass and get signed off. No, there’s a sensor in the ceiling that actively monitors where your eyeballs are looking, and it objects if you aren’t watching the screen.

I grumbled, crossed my arms across my chest, and stared at the paused safety vid.

Thank you for your cooperation, Crewmember… Haasha. Now, let us return to your shuttle pad operations safety briefing.

I’m pretty sure Auggie picked the safety training vids that would be the absolute most irritating to me. As a trained shuttle pilot, I am well aware of procedures for landing bays and landing pads. When in the cockpit, I would be the one responsible for ensuring the safety of ground crew and making final safety checks to be sure all personnel are clear during take-off or landing. This seminar? Definitely geared towards a completely new spacer who had never worked near landing zones. At least it was almost over, as long as I could keep my eyes on the screen without tearing out my fur or screaming out in rage.

Thankfully it would be a few days before I would need to sit for another training vid, which Auggie told me would be called, “Preventing Harassment in the Workplace.” I’m guessing that’s some sort of interspecies understanding course, which could be somewhat amusing to see what humans think is important when it comes to interstellar misunderstandings. 

Much to the satisfaction of my electronic eyeball nanny, I was able to keep my attention on the screen for the remainder of the safety vid.

Thank you for your time and attention. We appreciate all crewmembers striving to keep a focus on safety in the workplace!

As soon as the credits started, I bolted out of my chair and to the door. Today was an exploration day, and I needed to get into my void suit for an on-planet mission!

Paying for supplies is wonderful when a government foots the bill, but even those slush funds have limits and, more importantly, budgets. Let’s just say my fruit tasting a while back had given the crew an appetite to try new things, yet the officially allocated budget from the Terran government wouldn’t pay for such things. And the regular recipe suggestions I was getting from Max, Max, and Rashaak weren’t curbing any appetites.

Captain Victor found a side gig that would both qualify as on-mission scientific discovery and pay a decent amount of credits into the “buy more alien munchies for everyone” fund. 

Levoratron 4276 is about ⅔ the size of Earth, but significantly denser so gravity isn’t too far off. Officially, the planet was explored and named over a century ago. With a very low atmosphere, the planet wasn’t a good candidate for colonization but the density suggested potentially high value as a mining operation. Being significantly out of the way, a full mining survey hadn’t been undertaken.

Fortunately for us, the planet was on the way to our next main exploration mission, would only delay us by about a week or so, and provide a decent payday if we did an analysis and collected freight container sized samples for test processing. To sweeten the deal, this would be an opportunity to test previous scientific data humans had done in their home Sol system. 

Our culinary exploration dreams didn’t interest the bureaucrats and paper pushers, but getting scientific data that would be directly useful to previous efforts in Sol? That was the key to our receiving a “Hell, yea!” rather than a sternly written memo to stay on mission.

The planet appeared very similar to Mars, except much younger. This planet had an atmosphere that was slowly being stripped away into space, currently down to about 3% oxygen. Our team was excited to not only survey the planet, but also leave behind sensors and robotic rovers to explore the planet and collect. Essentially, Levoratron 4276 looked to be on a path where it could end up being like Mars in a few million years. As a result, this planet could provide key data to prove or alter theories about the history of Mars!

My end of things would be more mundane on the mining survey team, but that didn’t dampen my spirits. I would be setting foot in places no sapient had likely seen or touched before, and that’s excitement enough to motivate me. Thankfully, my training vid was set up in a meeting room just across the hall from Engineering so it took me a whopping less than 10 seconds to get to my equipment closet and pull out my void suit. And thanks to the snazzy design courtesy of the Terran Marines, it took less than 5 seconds to get into my suit and locked in.

VIP Haasha, I have been informed that your performance...

“Do I need to put you back on mute?” I grumbled at Tac-1.

...was satisfactory and the module has been marked complete. Would you like to provide feedback?

“Would I like to? Definitely,” I said wistfully. “Considering my honest feedback would likely get me another safety module, my final answer is going to be no.”

I then ran through all my safety checks, confirmed that I had a full pack of Meal Replacement Paste, and that Supa Dupa Cart was loaded and ready to go for my breaks. I had received a note from Jarl that my mining probes had already been loaded on his shuttle and double checked by Rosa, so all I needed to grab was my portable toolkit in case of unexpected issues. After grabbing that and hooking it to my belt, I jogged to the shuttle bay.

“Sad news,” Auggie greeted me as I entered Shuttle Bay Two. “No supervised atmospheric flight or co-piloting today. You were late to the party thanks to your self-inflicted mandatory safety briefing.”

“I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that I found the selected safety module just as frustrating as my parallel parking lessons,” I informed our esteemed First Officer and Lord of the Safety Seminars. “But I’ve passed both, so hopefully I can move on to more fruitful training sessions.”

For some reason Auggie looked at me blankly for a moment, almost as if he was biting his tongue from saying something.

“Since you’ve passed the parallel parking module and are now fully proficient with landing zone safety, we’ll have you do some co-piloting with me tomorrow. You’ll plan the flight path and monitor the descent,” he informed me. “But we’re already behind schedule, so load up and lock in. Departure in 5 minutes.”

He then waved me towards the ramp.

As the last person on board I got the seat at the rear of the shuttle next to the ramp controls. This meant I had a front row seat to staring at the back of cargo crates rather than being up in the passenger section, which actually worked out well as I had Tac-1 boot up Supa Dupa Cart and there was no way I’d get yelled at for playing video games along the way. 

I was in the middle of a good run when suddenly Tac-1 paused the game and shut it down.

“What gives?” I grumbled.

VIP Haasha, we are less than ten minutes from the selected landing zone. Please perform cargo safety checks for our final approach.

I got up and went through the cargo section, which basically meant checking to be sure nothing had shifted or gotten loose 

“Auggie - cargo section green for landing,” I called over coms.

“Acknowledged,” Auggie responded. “The moment we set down and you see the green light, equalize pressure with the outside and begin unloading procedures.”

A few minutes later, there was what felt like a gentle landing followed by a sudden lurch to the right. While there were a few grumbles over coms about Auggie’s piloting, I would shortly find out that the real issue was an upcoming attraction for us all - a very sandy environment! The left landing strut had found solid rock while the right was in sand, and the weight of the shuttle made it sink a bit on the right side. 

“I’ll do a quick check to see if there’s a better spot to shift the shuttle,” I called over coms as I popped open the ramp and surveyed the situation. “But given the amount of sand, I’m not hopeful.”

“Sounds good. Let me know what you find,” he called back professionally.

I pulled out one of my mining probes and set it to do a quick area scan. Sadly, the entire area was rocky and uneven below the sand. Nothing terrible that would cause the shuttle to be in danger of tipping over, but definitely meant the ramp would be a bit off-kilter no matter where Auggie landed or moved.

“This parking lot is just uneven,” I informed our fearless First Officer. “Shifting realistically won’t make things much better, and could be worse.”

“Gotcha,” he said with irritation. “All right, team. Looks like this planet will be a little uncooperative. Let’s get a move on, and hopefully this won’t slow down our schedule too much.”

Spoiler alert - it did. We had to go much slower with the lifters. What could have been off-loaded in under 20 minutes on a nice flat surface took nearly double the time. 

“Kind of like being at the beach, but with no ocean,” Susan had commented as she helped my team unload our gear. “And much more dreary.”

I couldn’t disagree with her assessment. The surface of the planet was sandy and rocky in light brown tones, and the sky was a light tan with a hint of red. Very monochromatic in a boring way.

After unloading the remainder of my team’s gear, I looked around and didn’t see my boss.

“Where’s Jarl?” I asked Susan.

She simply rolled her eyes and commented dryly, “Wait for it.”

A moment later a very jovial Jarl ran from inside the shuttle, down the ramp, and did a long jump at the end. However, it wasn’t the jump that got my attention.

Jarl was wearing a breathing mask like all the other humans, but while all the rest of the team were wearing coveralls, he simply wore shorts and a t-shirt.

One minor point of interest about this planet. On the daylight side, it’s about 25 Celcius - right on target for a nice warm afternoon on Earth. It’s the night side which quickly drops to -80C thanks to the lack of atmosphere. While the lack of atmosphere means the surface is exceptionally dry, the temperature was pretty close to ideal from a human standpoint. So you could just wear a breathing mask and have more freedom in your wardrobe.

In this, I didn’t have the option. Getting a nice tight seal around your face or neck is a major pain thanks to fur, which has a bad tendency to break or prevent good seals. If I wanted to wander around with just a breathing mask, I’d need to shave a ring around my neck. 

Nope. Not going to happen. I don’t need a collar.

After landing with impressive grace from his long jump, Jarl called out to our team over coms.

“Let’s get to work!” he bellowed out. “James, get the mini-excavator set up with Carla. Everybody else, let’s get the cargo containers lined up to be filled with sand and samples. Haasha, head out on your mining survey and don’t get lost!”

As soon as he said that, Tac-1 activated my suit’s tracking beacon and began broadcasting it. I rolled my eyes but didn’t make any comments. After having gotten unexpectedly lost on the last planet the TEV Ursa Minor visited, my crew was acting a little overprotective. Hopefully it would be a phase that would pass, like Tac-1 too closely monitoring my fruit and pie intake.

As I started out on my way, there was a strange ringing. When I halted, the ringing and clunking sound stopped. When I moved, it started again.

“Tac-1, what the hell is that?” I asked.

VIP Haasha, per the request of the officers, I have activated an external audio program of “More Cowbell” so that you may be easily located by sound.

 “Very funny,” I said with only a hint of sarcasm. “Mute that.”

Cowbell noises abandoned, I had Tac-1 switch over to some music. We started out with the instrumental piece Mars, Bringer of War. It seemed like a good energetic choice, but after only two minutes it became clear that it wouldn't match the drudgery I was in for.

“Holy stars, this is tough going,” I commented to myself.

I was essentially crossing an open plain of sand and sand dunes. While my feet are significantly larger than a human’s and can do a bit of a snowshoe impression to make walking easier, moving across deep sand still takes a lot more time and effort than walking across solid ground.

I might have enjoyed the outing if it weren’t for my feet constantly getting buried in sand. It made what should have been a fun and entertaining mission into a tough and tiring slough. I spent little time looking around at the brand new landscape and far more effort just trying to keep on schedule. The entire trip was made worse by the mining survey probes acting up as they didn’t like the sandy surface of the planet, so took near constant monitoring and corrections to get the job done. 

In the end, what was originally estimated to take 2 ½ to 3 hours ended up taking almost 5 hours by the time I trudged back to the landing zone. 

When I arrived, I found most of my crewmates playing in the sand. How? They had removed the lids from a number of the cargo containers and were using them as sleds to slide down one of the dunes.

“I wish I had thought of that,” I mumbled to myself as I slowly walked towards the shuttle. “Definitely would have made my day both faster and more fun, even if a lid would have been awkward to carry.”

“Alright, folks!” Auggie called out as I approached. “Haasha is back. Let’s get packed up and aboard the shuttle.”

Since I was late and the crew had already loaded their cargo, all they needed to do was pick up and reattach the makeshift sleds to a few cargo crates. They were done and settled into the passenger seats by the time I made it to the ramp.

The trip back I spent largely trying to relax and give my sore muscles a break. I still needed them functional once we returned and off-loaded. Being at the back of the shuttle again meant I was one of the first off once we returned to the TEV Ursa Minor.

“Hey, Haasha,” Captain Victor said as I stepped off the shuttle. He was waiting at the base of the ramp with Doctor Franklin. “Get out of your void suit and let me take a picture of you with Jarl. Give me permission to post it to the entire crew and I’ll knock one safety holovid off your sentence.”

“Why?” I said suspiciously.

“You’re our Poster Children of Safety!” he replied with a smile. “We’ll do one quick photo of the two of you and send it out as part of the next ship-wide bulletin as a reminder to read and follow all safety notices.”

I considered things for only a brief moment. There are enough pictures of me, embarrassing and otherwise, posted across the ship. What’s one more? And somehow this would get me out of a safety seminar where my eyes would be required to be glued to stupid? I failed to understand how Jarl was joining me in the safety doghouse, but in the end it didn’t matter.

“Deal,” I said quickly, popped myself out of my void suit, and stepped over to the wall where Captain Victor indicated. 

“Jarl!” the captain called out. “Step right up for your glamor shot with Haasha.”

Jarl walked over with a huge smile… but it was his arms and legs that caught my attention. His skin tone is usually a light pinkish tan, yet his arms below the sleeves and his legs between the bottom of his shorts and the top of his socks were bright pink. Most shockingly, a shade of pink that was slightly darker than my fur!

“What happened?” I asked him dumbly. “Is this some strange hormonal thing? I’ve never seen a human with such pink skin.”

“Oh, not a big deal,” Jarl said with a hearty laugh. “Just a little sunburn.”

“A sunburn?” I mumbled with confusion. I then remembered the safety bulletin released by Doctor Franklin, which specifically mentioned that all crew on the planet should wear coveralls and gloves at all times. Something about this being the only way to prevent sunburns and significant skin damage while on the planet.

“It’s not that big a deal,” Jarl answered jovially. “I wore sunscreen!”

“No atmosphere means no sunscreen will be effective,” Doctor Franklin said with a deep sigh and a roll of his eyes.

“All right, let’s get lined up,” Captain Victor called out. “Jarl, just stand in front of the wall and smile at the camera. Haasha, stand next to Jarl with your arm wrapped around behind his legs. A friendly one-arm hug, please.”

I lined up as indicated and realized the picture would probably be a fun comparison of size. My head barely poked above Jarl’s waist and my arm simply wrapped behind his massive thighs rather than around his shoulders or back if I were more human sized. 

“Haasha, can you please take your fur away from my leg?” Jarl suddenly asked as soon as the photo was taken and the captain looked pleased.

I turned to look up at him and as I did my fur brushed against his leg. As my fur gently moved along his skin, he grimaced and a lone tear fell from his left eye.

“I thought you said my fur was comfy and as soft as a kitten?” I asked, both offended and confused.

“Right now it’s a million needles poking my skin,” Jarl said through clenched teeth, clearly in pain but trying to keep a brave smile on his face as a number of crew passed and snickered.

“Why don’t you waddle to Medbay and we’ll get you into one of the burn units,” Doc Franklin said to Jarl with a mildly irritated expression. “I’m curious to discover how many forms of skin cancer you’ve invented by ignoring medical advice. There’s a reason we said coveralls required on the surface.”