Did Lapis suffer?

I'm kind of stupid so maybe I didn't understand properly, but was Lapis, in some way, conscious while part of Phos, and therefore somewhat conscious during the 10,000 years? I feel like the last dream they had kind of implied that Lapis gave up her sense of self and "died", but I'm not completely sure. Phos ended up with some traits from Lapis, but idk? What do you all think?