The doublespeak behind “having a baby”

Inspired by the post about baby showers/the attention people get when pregnant - something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is the language people use when discussing the choice to reproduce or not and how it always defaults to “having a baby” or “having kids,” when realistically that is such a small chunk of that individual’s life.

People focus SO much on babies, when they’re only

technically a baby for like ONE YEAR and some change. MAYBE two. That is it.

Then you have a toddler, and eventually a kid for about 9 years or something - then a TEENAGER for a solid 5 years and eventually an adult that is sort of a responsibility for the rest of your life (if you’re not a total asswipe). And I’m not just talking financial but emotionally being there for this adult you created too.

To me, this is also why there are so many differences in how parents show up for their adult kids. I think some parents understood that they would need to help their kids a bit - even when they’re older - and other people are literally just out here “having babies” and then letting them fend for themselves when they become legal adults.