This quote comes from William Cohan’s book Four Friends and is attributed to Sasha Chermayeff:

“He said to me one time, 'Sasha, I think I'm finally ready for a real woman. I finally think I can handle a woman.' I was like 'Ah.' That last year with Carolyn had been a disastrous year and he was really in pain about it. He was really in a tough way about it and really felt like it was over. Anybody who knew them well knew how serious the problems were that last year. But he was always barking up the wrong tree when it came to women. He didn't quite ever find a woman who was a whole \[person\], especially in his thirties with Daryl and Carolyn.

He was ready finally at the end. He had chosen women who didn't make him happy. He wasn't happy with Daryl and then he wasn't happy with Carolyn. Why? The different reasons that he was attracted to them to begin with then became the thing that he couldn't be with. You know when you're young the thing that makes you fall in

love with a person, and then the thing that makes you fall out of love kind of thing. I think he was finally starting to feel that he was whole enough to find a really whole woman. I think he wanted to have children. He really did."

I hope this is just one of Sasha’s more questionable theories and not something John actually said. It’s hard to imagine how Carolyn would have felt if she’d ever heard something like that, that would’ve been devastating to hear from John. And honestly, how could John have been “ready for a real woman” at the end of his life when his marriage was reportedly struggling, his magazine was failing, and his life seemed so unsettled? Was John even “whole” himself? 

What do you make of this quote from one of John’s friends?