Just venting about how nice it would be to have a mom who cares

I’m 41 and expecting my second daughter next week, and have been no contact with my mother for 12 years, on and off contact the 10 years before that. It’s my choice to be no contact as I’m sure my mother would jump at the opportunity to weasel her way back into my life, but I’ll never open that door again.

My husband is a wonderful man and shares a son with his ex and has a great relationship with his ex in-laws. I knew this for a long time and met the mom on occasion and she’s a wonderful woman. Today she stopped by for a visit and not only did she bring a giant gift bag for me and baby but also brought a gift for our dogs, my daughter from a previous relationship who she’s never even met before and of course my husband and his son (her grandson). I just couldn’t believe how kind and generous that was and when she left, I found myself really resenting my mother so much more because she wouldn’t even be the type to bring ME something, let alone something for everyone in the house and that really hurts.

I don’t often even think about my mother nor does the past really hurt me anymore except for moments like these I guess, when a woman I barely know can come and show love for her daughters ex husband and new wife like that and be such a green flag in every way while my own mother could never.

It’s just so heartbreaking.