SSRI?

I tfmr in May 2023 due to HLHS. my sub pregnancy was perfectly healthy but I was an anxious mess and too afraid to take medication. Now we're getting close to wanting to TTC again & my provider is recommending an SSRI.... But I just can't help thinking how much I would blame myself if we had another heart defect and how it's just not worth the risk. I've read several scientific articles but what gives me pause is that they study "infants" so I'm afraid that major heart defects (and tfmr) are missed in these studies.

What has everyone's thought process/experience been with ssris in a sub pregnancy? Tbh right now I feel like my anxiety and depression are managed quite well but I do worry about TTC/pregnancy making them worse.