I miss you so fucking much today

Hey stranger. I know you probably don't care anymore but I started therapy. After my session finished I bursted out crying. It's so hard for me to open up. To anyone really. But you made it easy for me. You didn't even try. I wanted to tell you things I never told anyone else. I'm so tired of living withought you. Everyone thinks I'm doing fine but I'm falling apart. My life is in secret chaos and honestly I just miss you as a person. Feel like my world is ending. Everything's falling apart. I would never burden you with anything but god I miss you today. When we used to talk everyfay you have no idea how good and right that felt. For the first time in my life I felt seen. Like I found someone from my soul tribe. I finally wasnt alone. Hate myself for letting you go now its too late. Wish we could just be friends and pretend like nothing happened. How does everyone just move on? I don't get it. Is that why everyone looks so sad? Of course they have a bunch of problems but is that what happens to most people? They fumble the one they most loved then have to pretend everythings fine forever? Cause I dont think I can sustain this for much longer. I hope your doing good. You still have all of my heart but from the bottom of it I hope I can forget you this year and move on.