Communicating long-distance with 5 year old.

My son is 5. His father & I separated when our son was 7ish months, and I moved several states away to be close to my family, as I did not have a place to live or a sustainable job (moving was the best option to keep my son well-cared for. dad did not have a stable place to live either at the time, and baby relied on me heavily to eat/sleep/etc so it made most sense for him to stay with me. Ex agreed to the move at the time, but stayed in his home state to work and be close to his own family.). Since moving, my ex has seen our son only 2 times. However, he video calls twice a week, and we FaceTime so kiddo can talk. It’s hit or miss, as kiddo is young and only has so much patience to sit on the phone. We have no custody agreement, but I want kiddo to have a relationship with his dad, so I try to be patient and sometimes sit and hold the phone/follow kiddo around for 30-45 minutes so dad can see him. I’m not comfortable letting my son hold the phone, as he is not careful enough and often just sets it down and walks away.

This is gonna sound horrible, but I’m so tired of it. My ex is constantly saying passive-aggressive things about me on the FaceTime calls, judging my parenting, and texts me to tell me I’m a horrible mom for ‘alienating’ our child from him. I have tried so hard to stay positive, and I never say negative things about my ex in front of our kid. The video calls are frequent and overwhelming for me, and I’d like to switch to just audio calls so I don’t have to hold the phone and follow kiddo around to keep him in frame, etc. I’ve even thought of getting a landline specifically for kiddo to talk to his dad. I don’t want to ‘alienate’ my son, and want them to have a relationship, but I feel like my ex feels entitled to MY time too, and doesn’t respect that I can’t always take 45 minutes out of my evening, twice a week, to follow kiddo around on a video call. I know it’s a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things, but it’s still difficult for me. Idk, maybe I’m in the wrong, but I also don’t think it’d be unfair to find another arrangement? Fewer FaceTime calls at least? Anyone ever been in a similar situation that could give me some input? Or advice? Or just some reassurance that I’m not crazy for feeling overwhelmed by this? TIA 🙂