I am the chaos of order and I hate it

Here I am driving myself insane by controlling my mind in so many delusional religious ways and then some goddamn pope here on this subreddit has the nerves to say there is no wrong way to be a discordian *roles eyes" I swear to God I have done the wrong thing to the point of self torture. I might as well be flogging myself in front of desecrated idols and performing mindless bukkake on statues of mother mary while I gaze at Mother Teresa's harry wet asshole. BUT HEY WHO AM I TO SAY THAT IM DOING THE WRONG THING???? obviously. *Roles fucking eyes*

I've taken the curse of grey face to another level. Trying to bring serious order to my mind and knowing that I'm only causing disorder, but knowing there's another way? Is that even so? It's hilarious but it takes a fuckin while before I get the punchline. People wanna say it's cuz I'm autistic, schizo, ocd, bipolar, sure, it's all true. I didn't do it, I know that, but I did. Why?????