How do I deal with my mom

My mom is a great person and mother however she can falter a lot with parenting. when I was really young she was the dream partent and supported me through depression However once I got out she fell into depression and things started to go down hill more and more. My sister got cancer and my mom lost it. She started to demand controll over every little part of me and my siblings lives to make up for it. She started to call me a manipulatior, liar, and someone who just wants to hurt her despite not being able to name one time this has happened. She has even accused me of loosing 10 pounds from ARFID (an illness i have had since i was 2 or3) to hurt her and be able to eat more junk food. Another time I was in a dark place and destroyed a lot of my art projects out of frustration over my relationship with her just for her to tell me the next day that she knows I only did that because I wanted to hurt her, make a mess, and become a victim. There are over a dozen more examples of this but I wont share for time and privacy. She has also lied to me about how he viewed me and I have caught her lying and bullying me on a call with friends casualy. This has happened countless times and sunk my mental health. It has only been recently when I have been focusing on every other relationship in my life where I realized that everyone but my mother see's me as a good person and the things I am going through are not normal. Now my mom keeps fighting to rebuild our relationship but I am just hurt and scared and dont know if I am ready? I love her and 95% of the time she is an incredible mom but I never know what she thinks of me and am always scared of what she will say. any advice, validation, simular experiences would be great