Really struggling with self doubt after mismatched marriage

I [28M] have been investing in myself more than ever since we broke up about 6 months ago. I have lost about 40 lbs through diet and exercise, I am doing skincare for the first time. I have been driving towards a career change to become a bartender and sommelier at a local steakhouse where before I worked a desk job. However I still feel low self worth and daily self doubt because of my situation. I was kicked out after a suicide attempt, and now have very limited access to my young son. I feel like I tried everything to make it work before it ended. I had put a significant amount of cash down on our new house before the split and have been getting squeezed financially. I've been living with my parents, who pretty much want me to go back to the marriage, even though I can't do anything to fix it, and I don't have a stable enough cash flow to live on my own right now.

While these are all very worldly problems that I can foresee working out long term, the self doubt is the worst. I constantly feel like I was too weak, like I can't do better, like I need to figure out a gambit to go back to somewhere where I was being abused.

I was, in my opinion, being emotionally abused, or at least neglected to the point of it qualifying as abuse. About a year before the breakup she told me she'd never been physically attracted to me. She would never turn down sex but didn't care about it at all, and it made me feel like an invader every time. I viewed sex as intimate, connecting, revitalizing, and vulnerable and she felt it was simply a physical sensation, did not crave or think about it at all, pretty much wanted to get it over with. I believe she is asexual personally. I fell into the trap and it felt like she was just doing it for me. There was really only one two week period where the sex was great and common during the relationship. We pretty much had zero emotional chemistry towards the end, and I did pretty much all of the emotional labor and a generous share of the chores. I planned every date during the whole relationship. She was very avoidant, but always gave me enough hope to stay in the game.

I am trauma bonded for sure. How do you get past these feelings? I feel like I look at normal people who have not been through our shared trauma, and they stand up for themselves and believe in themselves a lot more than I.