Trying to reignite the bedroom

37Ms HL, 35F LL, married with kids.

Her libido has always been lower than mine, but since kids it’s basically gone. I’m always the initiator; she almost never starts. Past attempts (couple apps, toys, scheduled sex, etc.) backfired and made her feel pressured.

Last week we had a big talk. She thinks it might be medical (planning bloodwork + supplements), but also admitted the constant “pressure” (even when I didn’t think I was pressuring) was killing her desire.

I proposed a 90-day reset to take every ounce of pressure off: and she thanked me and said it’s a good idea.

- Days 1-30: zero sexual contact or talk (no oral, no PIV, nothing). Only hugs, kisses, back rubs, compliments.

- Days 31-60: 1-2 nights a week are “her orgasm only” (oral/toys, I get nothing unless she jumps me). With her complete acknowledgment and desire to do so.

- Days 61-90: slowly reintroduce mutual sex + novelty

I didn’t tell her the 31-60 days plan because I don’t want her to have like a count down or feeling pressure for when 30 days past. At 30 days we will talk again about what is next with her complete acknowledgment and desire to do so.

Has anyone done somthing like this for a partner with LL and expresses they are feeling pressured into intimacy. I don’t want her feeling the only reason why I touch her like hugging or kissing or anything Is because I want sex and retreats because she has expressed she feels that way. I’m tired of the rain checks that never gets checked her looking relieved when I don’t initiate, the one hurt me the most her looking relieved when I didn’t ask about the rain check or tried anything when she said we could