Life is lately hard

Hey I wanted to share a little bit and hope that I can get a good insight from you guys. Last year became the living hell for me. I work under management and have to do a lot of presentation Infront of important people. That in itself is unpleasant but okay. In the last year I took on a big project which is killing me mentally. Lot of stress, lots of questions asked... I feel like I don't belong there and I just want my peace. I feel really lost not in a depressed way but in a I want to run away kind of way.

Lately there have been meetings I feel like I shouldn't be in the lead for this project. Damn I feel like so tired all the time and my thoughts are like should I quit and find something else. But on the other hand will I find something else, am I good enough. Am I smart enough to do something else. Quitting seems like running away and that also feels like defeat. I don't really know what's right, I feel like if this project is done I'm being forced to take more projects in the future. I'm only 26 and feel like I lost even tho you are probably gonna say that I will find something else it is so damn hard to make a decision.

Weekends I spend looking for a new job but then I don't have the energy to send the applications. And speaking to other people seems really hard lately. I just want to stay home and work from there because I feel like no one can hurt me from home. Friends also feel harder talk to because all I do lately is work so I can only talk about work. Hobbies idk there is no time for that except you are one of those alpha males who will tell me to wake up at 4 am and have all the time in the world ... Work, cook dinner, watch TV (doom scroll) go to sleep --> repeat. Weekends clean the house go to gym so you don't die from the back pain --> repeat. Get old and die fast so you don't fuck up the generation after you ... What a life I did not imagine it to go down like this. Hope some can relate