“Insane”

This is so silly but, confession?

Love languages, as a concept are so cool to think of. “Act of love” is scarily subjective. Wdym I felt THE most loved at the breakup…thats so diabolical 😭😭😭😭like..aw..you’d go THAT far..for..me?🤭yay! Oddly enough, I haven’t shed a single tear since that day! I’ve been so sleepy and hungry though. I genuinely keep falling asleep as if my mind is hoping to catch up on months of sleep deprivation….

This isn’t a blanket statement and is very case specific. This case. My case. Our case. I think its so cute how elaborate the ruse is. I have so many questions! I feel so special. Like…for me..??? STOPPPPP trying so hard to make me feel insane is probably the only kinda manipulative revenge behaviour I could condone. Simply because it didn’t work😭You’re so cute for trying though.

Although I’m curious, was it an insane coincidence for me to land there? I know the scene was being set, i know it was in progress but I can’t think of being nudged in that direction. I’ve never used, let alone thought of those websites. I guess its cause, I be yapping anyway so nothing is unsent…if anything, I’d like an undo button please! My emails are literally set to a 10 sec delay which lets me undo it asap and it may sound minor but its so helpful. Less anxiety inducing!

Anyway, did I arrive before time? I knew it was meant for me and I’d carefully be nudged in this direction eventually . So was it a crazy coincidence? Lord knows, I had no doubt in that. Its probably why I was more worried about you than the relationship😭its so silly to think that the only thing capable of bending over heartbreak, is…heartache. Like why am I having a panic attack for you…sir I have enough issues…its so weird cause I’ve always felt the need to tread cautiously as if its a tight rope, I’m balancing on.

Whats funnier is, the “denial” or, for accuracy, “rejection” of the breakup being universal. I wasn’t the only person who reacted like “thats not possible” EVEN MY MOTHER??? I didn’t tell a lot of people, the 3 who were informed looked at me puzzled…my mom especially…I’ll never forget😭I’m trying to tell her how we don’t talk anymore and this lady is just like “ok go tomorrow instead” “uhm ok so just patch up then?” like…that entire interaction was hilarious. She looked at me as if IIIIIII was the one being unreasonable. The interaction only ended after I was tired of saying “HE DOESNT WANT ME ANYMORE EVER” like damn mom, random wave of confidence? In a man? Who…as all traditional households do….is referred to as “friend”….the others also reacted saying “Thats not possible” not even questioning it, no “how”. Just straight up rejecting reality

3 hyper independent women btw. I don’t know where the bar was but I know where it is now and DAMN. Endgame or might have to turn to God😮‍💨

Esconderte detrás de otro idioma fue un toque lindo. Me siento especial viendo tanto esfuerzo. No puedo creer que solo me hayas mostrado una fracción de todo esto… Ah, y ¿“wife”? ¿Desde cuándo me dices wife? No veo ningún anillo por aquí. Ni siquiera un anillo de promesa. Así que nada de wifey tampoco. Algún día tal vez, pero no tan fácil. Gánate el derecho y ya veremos… algún día. ¿Quizá?

~ Soon?