Broke my 1.3 year relationship

I’m 22f , I ended my relationship after 1.3 years. It wasn’t an easy decision, because despite everything, I still have a lot of love for him. He is very cute and handsome, and sometimes he would act so childish and soft with me that it made me forget all the pain for a while. That innocent, cry-baby side of him is something I still can’t get out of my mind. But the truth is that the relationship also brought me a lot of hurt. He raised his hand on me many times, abused me, and often blamed me for my past relationship. I kept asking him for something very simple to speak to me kindly, to respect me, and to give our relationship the time and understanding it deserved. I just wanted him to talk to me with love and patience.

He would also call me “asexual” or make me feel bad for not wanting to have sex, even though I was simply trying to protect my virginity until marriage. That choice was important to me, and instead of understanding it, he sometimes made me feel judged for it.

At the same time, I can’t deny that he cared about me in ways that felt very deep. Sometimes it felt like he loved and cared for me like no one else ever had. And maybe that’s why leaving has been so painful.

But after everything ,the disrespect, the hurtful words, the pressure, and the fights I feel completely drained. I reached a point where I couldn’t keep sacrificing my peace and self-respect anymore.

Now that I’ve finally walked away, he’s calling me and begging me to come back. And that’s what makes this even harder. A part of me still loves him and remembers the good moments, but another part of me remembers all the pain I went through.Right now, I’m confused. I don’t know what the right decision is. All I know is that I never wanted things to end like this . I just wanted to be loved with respect, patience, and kindness.