My bf (M 28) doesn’t want to be married yet but in the future, I (F 27) don’t feel like I don’t want it at all anymore.

I (27F) have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, but we’re still together. Early on he always said he didn’t want to get married until he was truly ready. I didn’t push it because I didn’t want to pressure him.

He also originally wanted to wait until 30–35 to have kids, but because of my fertility issues we decided not to wait. Now we have a son who is almost two. We live together, share a car, have an apartment, and built a family together. In many ways we already live like a married couple. Even before my son was born, I sometimes felt like I was doing “wife duties” without actually being a wife.

For a long time marriage was something I cared a lot about. But now after five years and having a child together, my feelings about it have changed. I feel like if he proposed now it wouldn’t feel the same as it would have earlier in the relationship, like it wouldn’t move me.

One day I asked him how he would feel if I said I didn’t really care whether we got married or not. He said he would have to move on because he does want to be married someday. He also said if he doesn’t meet my expectations then I have the right to leave.

At the same time, I’ve been dealing with postpartum depression and some mental health struggles, and lately I just feel emotionally numb about a lot of things. It sometimes feels like I’m watching my life from the outside rather than actually feeling things.

I’m trying to understand if this shift in how I feel about marriage is something other people have experienced after years in a relationship and having a child together. I’m also unsure whether this is something I should bring up to him now, or if I should focus on working through my mental health first.

Has anyone every experienced this? What advice can you give even if you haven’t?

Please no rude comments.