I feel like everyone I’ve ever known is an acquaintance and nothing more than that

I think it’s hard to explain this to people.

But I have no friends.

I’ve never really been a popular kid.

And growing up was the same.

If I needed an emergency phone call right now I don’t even have anybody to call aside from my parents.

I have nobody.

As time passed the “friends” I did have just stopped inviting me to things.

And before I knew it, a few years passed and you no longer recognised the people you once knew.

It wasn’t for lack of trying either.

I’ve messaged probably 100+ people over the last decade to try and “meet up” and every message is just ignored.

But I still see the same groups of people meeting up on Facebook or on instagram. But for some reason I just got left in the dust and forgotten about.

Even the housemates I spent 3 years living with at college just totally blanked me the moment we all moved out. As if I never existed. And yet, they still meet up. And some of them have even gone travelling together.

How is it possible that every single person I’ve ever met in life has never cared for me back. The odds must be a million to 1. Or maybe I’m just deeply unlucky.

You’d think at least somebody would care.

I think rejection is just part of our lives.

We do not fit into the social hierarchy.

We’re not even at the bottom.

We simply don’t exist on the social ladder at all.

We are totally forgotten by everybody.

And yet others seem to keep friendships and are included in social life without a second thought.