If you ever think you're not where you should be, know you are exactly where He needs you to be. When you think you're alone, He is the one who is with you. When you drift away from home, He is waiting for your return.

I wanted to share a quick little story with you guys. I started my walk with Christ less than a year ago. During my last 3 day fast from food I was feeling incredibly angry and sad inside on my final day. I didn’t get why during all my fasts I feel so close to Him, high energy and just happy. This time I felt so much further away. I couldn’t pinpoint where this was all coming from, but then I realized I fell into an old mindset. Back to the times where I caught myself looking around, comparing my life to others and noticing I’m not in the place that was expected by me or the people around me. I’m 30 years old and had a desire for a husband and family of my own since I was a little girl. I surrendered that a while ago, giving it into the hands of our Father because… His will over mine. No matter how I feel in the moment, I always remember that. I know time to time it does still get to me but in those moments I’m able to say to Him, “I’m still Yours, and Your plans for me are greater than the plans I have for myself.” I think that’s why my final day, even though I wasn’t initially consciously aware of why I had such an emotional charge, deep down I knew I caved again, full of impatience and misunderstanding.

I was praying hard and reading hard those three days, taking time alone to connect with God… yet everything was so painfully silent. I felt terrifyingly empty. That made me feel more angry, hurt, confused and hopeless as I got ready for work. Right before I left, I chose a message from this little jar that was gifted to me from my sister. I almost didn’t that day though, I was running late. I usually choose randomly but it was one of hundreds that I could see from my bed the night before. So I pulled that one *just* because it caught my eye. It read “Your future is already safe in Gods hands.” The verse was Jeremiah 29:11. “For I know the plans I have for you.”

When I read that after everything I was thinking and feeling that morning I started to tear up, feeling overwhelmed with relief and joy. It was a gift. As I drove to work the anger and grief returned though. Right at the stoplight before work I said in my mind, “God, something is stirring inside of me and I don’t know what it is or why I feel this way. Father please help lift me out of this feeling. I don’t want to show up to work like this.. Jesus, please.” As I made the turn, a woman was standing outside of the library on the sidewalk completely alone holding a big sign. At first I thought it would be something political. No. On her sign it said, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I’ve worked at the same place for almost 10 years. Nobody is ever doing that at that spot, ever. This was quite literally seconds after I begged the Lord. My jaw fell and I had to cover my open mouth. I burst into tears of joy. Not only that, but the first 3 customers I had that day all came in with crosses around their neck which is also something I never really see but one person right after the other appeared. None of them bought anything, just came in, looked around and left.

For anyone who ever feels alone, unheard or at their lowest. Like they’re not meeting expectations of other or their own. Your Father sees you. Jesus sees you. Day in and day out. In the most painful, quiet moments you can imagine. If you think you’re not where you want to be, you are exactly where He needs you to be. He will *never* leave you nor forsake you, no matter what the world around you looks like, whether it’s in a moment, a week, months… you catch my drift. When you leave home, He is there waiting for you to return. He loves you so much and never gets tired of it.

Love,

Your sister in Christ ✝️