Should I confess to my college crush after finals

Hi! I’m currently a first-year college student and I need some honest advice from people who don’t personally know me.

So there’s this guy I like. I’ve actually been seeing him around school for months already. I used to call him my “hallway crush” because I would just see him in the halls and think he was really good-looking, but I didn’t even know his name.

Last December, I finally found out his name by accident. Our professor sent an email confirming the students who were in our class, and I could see the list of recipients. While looking through the names, one of them caught my attention because it sounded Japanese, and I got curious about it. So I searched the name online just to see who it belonged to, and that’s when I realized it was actually him. That was the first time I really learned his name, even though I had already been seeing him around campus for months without knowing who he was.

Then January came, and it turned out we had the same class (UTS). That’s when I really started noticing him more. My perception of him changed a bit because I realized he’s actually kind of awkward in a cute way. Sometimes he looks a little uncomfortable in his surroundings, but he also seems unintentionally funny. That’s when my small crush slowly turned into an actual crush.

Fast forward to February (around the second week), I ended up confessing anonymously. I wrote letters for him and asked a friend to give them to him. At the time, I thought that after confessing, my feelings would calm down and I’d be able to move on. That’s what happened with my past crushes before.

But this time it didn’t work.

I forgot one important thing: I see him almost every day in school, even if we’re in different programs. Now I feel like I’m hyper-aware of him. For example, when I’m eating in the cafeteria, sometimes I suddenly feel like he’s nearby, and when I look around, he’s actually there.

There was also this really embarrassing moment in the cafeteria. I bought turon, and our cafeteria turon is really small, so I opened my mouth widely while walking and about to eat it. Then I suddenly made eye contact with him. I literally froze. After that I looked away and went back to my table because I was so embarrassed but also laughing with my friends. I even jumped and lightly hit my friend because I was so flustered. Later I realized his table was actually close to ours, so there’s a chance he saw everything. I might just be overthinking it, but it still lives in my head rent-free.

Now I’m wondering if I should confess again, but this time properly and not anonymously. I’m thinking of doing it through Messenger using my real account, but only after finals.

I’m honestly very inexperienced with this kind of thing. The only times I’ve confessed to someone before were anonymous, and that only happened twice. I’ve also always been the type of girl who gets liked but never really pursued, if that makes sense. I don’t think I’m that pretty either, and he’s honestly very handsome. The only things I feel confident about are my talents and the things I’m good at.

I’m also naturally shy and I’ve never had a boyfriend before.

Do I expect something from confessing? Maybe a little. But honestly, part of me already expects rejection. And strangely, I think that might actually help me move on peacefully. At least I’ll know that I was honest about my feelings instead of keeping everything inside and regretting it later.

That’s also why I’m planning to do it after finals, so if things become awkward, I won’t have to see him immediately after.

If I do confess, I want to do it in a lighthearted and respectful way. I don’t want to pressure him or make him uncomfortable. I also genuinely wouldn’t mind just being friends if that’s all it could be.

So I guess my question is: Should I confess properly this time, or should I just let it go and move on quietly?

I would really appreciate honest advice.