Alone

I am having a hard time. I want to be positive, and stay focused, but it is so hard. Watching my mom deteriorate mentally, in real time, right in front of me, is the most difficult thing I have ever done. I can't talk to her family about it, because they refuse to accept her condition as fact. But they aren't here everyday; they dont see her messing up recipes, forgetting things, asking what day, month, and time it is. They dont see her unable to answer her phone or forgetting how to text. They dont see her misspelled words, her forgetting important dates, or her not remembering simple things. They blame it on her accident. They say it's PTSD, trauma brain. They may be partially correct, but they dont see how deep it goes. She is so unsure of herself that she has given all her power to me; she asks me about every facet of her life. It is almost as if she has given up executive functioning. And I dont know if I have the energy to live two whole lives. I understand that, as her only child, I have no choice but to carry on with her. I just feel so ALONE in this. I am watching this once highly intelligent woman unravel. And I have no one to lean on. I need help, or a hug, or just someone to fucking tell me I am doing okay. This sucks, so bad. Rant over. Thanks for listening, Void.