I (20F) live with my (24M) boyfriend, (2YR relationship) who is addicted to p*rn, and it’s straining our relationship. Is this something I should just accept?

For some context, I 20F have been living with my 24M partner, for around 8 months total. He has dismissive avoidant tendencies, which I’ve seen slight improvement in, but is still a prominent issue in our relationship.

I first discovered the scope of his addiction to p*rn around 6 months ago (a little after he moved me in). As far as I knew at the time, it was just free reddit p*rn that he was using. When I first mentioned my discomfort, he pushed back with “all guys do it”, “its normal” ect. I explained my side, how the industry as a whole has links to some pretty bad stuff, how it strains relationships, and can lead to ED. But most importantly I told him that it makes me uncomfortable, and I’d much rather he confide in me before resorting to it. We came to an agreement that he would seriously work on his addiction.

For a good three months after that, anytime I checked in, he lied and told me hes been totally p*rn free. I was relieved. Well… one day I got nosey and looked through his emails. That’s when I found out that multiple times weekly, in the past few months, he was subbing to a rotation of OF chicks. His activity on OF actually increased after our discussion, but looks like he was doing it for our whole relationship. This was while I was at work, or anytime I had my back turned at home.

I confronted him, and he was very apologetic, deleted all emails and his account, and promised to never do it again. I trusted his word. He told me he cant promise absolutely no free p*rn but will do his best.

Fast forward, a month later, I found in his recently deleted a Tinder account code. He lied when confronted, then admitted when he knew I had proof. He went to “show” me his account and said to look through it. He deleted all convos and matches before doing so. There was nothing to look through. He promised this was the only time. I of course snooped more later, and found out that he payed for dating app subscriptions at least 5 times that I know of during our relationship. He insisted he never slept with anyone, and that it was impulsive swiping.

Long story short, he started treating me with resentment, we had a near breakup, he demanded space, and wanted me to visit my hometown for 2 weeks. He also told me “If you don’t like me watching porn, you should just leave. I’m not going to change”. I caved for only a week, which was just agonizing for me mentally. He claimed this was the only way we would work. He couldn’t handle the pressure or expectations, and stated he was unsure of our relationship (and if he could be better for me).

I came back truly ready to move, and during our breakup talk, he starts being affectionate, comforting, and reassuring like never before. I try my best to not give in, but my attachment has not fizzled out completely. He states that he can be better, and how Im the “only girl” for him. That I’m the kindest most understanding woman he’s been with. I caved and took him back.

Here we are a week later, we have been getting along much better, and communicating better to a degree. But heres the problem, he still spends hours in the bathroom, mornings, nights when i’m sleeping, ect, watching p*rn. I’m not depriving the guy. I still feel uncomfortable. My fear is that this addiction will eventually progress back into OF, and ultimately downloading yet another app. Or worse, a physical affair. I know I’ve got bigger fish to fry, but the p*rn has become my focus yet again.

Be brutally honest, can the p*rn addiction exist while working on the repair from the larger damage of trust, and cheating, or is the relationship already too far gone? I feel like a total idiot for staying already, so please no shame for that. I know I give people many chances, to a fault.