People were watching me

Hi peeps, i just had a really really scary and bad ‘episode’ that lasted about 20 or 30 minutes that people were watching me. It felt so surreal, i was really scared pacing forwards and backwards, there was like 10-15 people there just watching me from behind. It literally came out of no where I was just playing games on my computer and bam they were there watching me I didn’t see anything but could feel they were there it was so fucking real and I was so fucking scared and had no clue what to do, I literally felt like I was going to chuck so I forced myself but nothing came out. I eventually took 5mg diazepam to calm myself down a bit(I think I’m getting used to this dose as it didn’t do much.)It did pass, but it was definitely real and fucking scary. I was not on any illicit substances.

I have been doing so so so well with my moods for the past month on my current meds no SH, no crazy mood swings, I’m on 400mg lamictal, 100mg seroquel (at night), and then for ADD I take 80mg of atomoxetine if that is relevant. I just started beta blockers short term because I have had a really high heart rate possibly from stress.

I have been stressed the past week or so with work as well, my brother beat me till my nose bled and I have a bunch of bruises so I’m not sure if that was the cause of this, he’s done it to me before but I’ve usually been fine, even when off my meds.

I don’t know if this paranoia is the start of a manic episode??? I’m so scared for tomorrow I’ve been doing so fucking well and this has just happened 😭 I don’t even want to go to sleep tonight

I see my psychiatrist at the end of the month so I’ll definitely tell him this and I’ve written it down because I do forget these things that happen

I just wanted to vent here thank you for reading my horrible experience 😞