I absolutely despise Eagle One, and honestly I despise the people who simp for her even more. Every single time the character gets brought up in the Helldivers community it turns into the same embarrassing circus. Instead of talking about gameplay or strategy it’s just a swarm of people repeating the same brain-rotted jokes like “ooo Eagle One bath water” or acting like they’re in love with a fictional bomber pilot. It’s genuinely pathetic. I don’t understand how someone gets to the point where they’re obsessing over a character that literally doesn’t exist and is basically just a voice line over a radio.

And the thing that makes it worse is that Eagle One isn’t even that interesting as a character. She’s not some deep, complex personality. She’s just a pilot voice in the sky calling in bombs. That’s it. Yet people act like she’s the greatest thing ever created. Meanwhile in the actual gameplay she’s probably wiped out more Helldivers with badly timed bombing runs than she’s ever saved. Anyone who’s watched clips knows exactly what I mean. You call in an airstrike and suddenly half the squad is turned into a red smear because the bombs land a little too close. But sure, let’s all worship the pilot who just flattened your teammates five seconds ago.

Her voice lines annoy the hell out of me too. Every time I hear them in clips it just sounds like the same repeated chatter that people somehow treat like it’s the funniest or coolest thing ever. I haven’t even played the game yet or done the campaign, but from everything I’ve seen the only actual redeeming thing about Eagle One is the 500kg bomb stratagem. That thing is undeniably cool. Giant explosion, big damage, very satisfying. But that’s not because Eagle One is some amazing character. It’s because a massive bomb going off is cool in literally any game.

Other than that, she’s basically nothing. Just a radio voice that drops bombs when you press a button. Yet the community acts like she’s some legendary waifu and it’s honestly ridiculous to watch. People fawning over a fictional air support pilot like she’s the most desirable person alive is one of the cringiest things I’ve seen in a gaming community in a while. It’s like the second someone hears the call sign “Eagle One,” half the internet immediately loses their minds and starts acting like they’re in some weird fan club.

I get that people like memes and jokes, but when the entire conversation around a character becomes the same simping jokes over and over it just becomes unbearable. At that point it stops being funny and just turns into pure secondhand embarrassment. She’s not some incredible character. She’s a voice line attached to an airstrike. That’s it. And watching people obsess over it like it’s the greatest thing ever created is honestly irritating as hell.

And if you disagree with me you clearly haven't read berserk or consumed peak in any way because if you had you'd actually have the media literacy and numeracy skills required to see what I'm saying! 

I hate eagle one and her simps