I feel like a close friend is being racist towards me.. what do I do?

For context, I'm native american and I was shy as a kid so I didnt have many racist encounters. They usually consisted of me standing there awkwardly while people acted like I was an exotic bird they've never seen before. Needless to say, idk what to do. I made a new friend (F18) and we've been really close for a year (mainly bc shes close with my close friends) but small things are building up to where I feel like its a problem now. It started by her saying the classic "Cherokee princess great great grandma" and her insisting we're the exact same because shes 6% Cherokee. I tried to tell her thats not the same but every time I reference my culture she inserts herself and talking about her summer tan, and saying we look alike. I figured this wasn't a big deal, pretty white thing to do and I'll ignore it. Then she started making fun of my food. Constantly saying I eat weird, and says all I eat is rice, beans, and buffalo. She keeps making casino jokes at me, but they're honestly not funny. She also asks me weird questions like if I'm gonna get inuit tattoos (I'm Kiowa), and if I throat sing (then showed me a video of Mongolian throat singing). She said something weird about alcoholism and my otter hair ties to me which made me upset.​ I'll speak normally about race and she acts like I committed a war crime, but I just think its cuz shes white and doesnt get it. I think the problem intensified last night bc I said a dreadhead was cute (this person uses the term dreadhead themselves so I thought it was okay), she started crashing out on me saying that dreadhead is an offensive term and asked me how I would like it if she called me a "casino lover" and kept calling me that through the whole conversation. I told her those weren't equivalents but she didnt care and I think that was the first time I got physically angry about this. It always made me uncomfortable, but I feel like I've been putting up with microagressions for the past year when I shouldn't tolerate it. The only issue is I dont know how to do that. She's now deeply connected to my friend group and I'm scared that if I say anything it'll affect everyone. Friend group aside idk how to say anything and it not be awkward afterwards. Any advice would be great

Posted Mar 8, 2026, 1:23 PM UTC

12
Loading comments…