I (26F) think I ruined my relationship with the LOML (26M) and I don't know how to do deal with it?

Long story long, this man and I matched on hinge and started dating. We dated in total of 4 months and we were exclusive the last month. I was always very straightforward that in the beginning we were seeing other people but after we had the exclusivity talk it was all him and I would never have stepped out of the relationship. All in all it was a great relationship, from the very beginning he was very kind, loving, supportive, and was into me and I was into him. We seemed to work really well together and were compatible with everything but religion.

Religion is very important to me, I am a Christian and looking to get baptized in my church and about a month into our relationship I actually ended it because I didn't see it moving forward. But after thinking about it and no more than 24 hours I realized that this was the man I needed in my life and we sat down and he agreed that this was something he wanted to grow with me in. Additionally, I made it very clear from the very beginning that I was going to wait for marriage to have sex, this is something that I feel very strongly about and he agreed that he was looking for a life partner and a marriage and that I had every quality he was looking for in a wife so this was no problem.

During our time together he was very loving and attentive, always taking out my trash and making dinner after I had a long day at work. He would pick me up and drop me off (I work in healthcare and he has a blue collar job), we would frequently have sleepovers and just enjoy our time together. He then went on a cruise in January for about 2 weeks. When he arrived back and had to make the 3 hour drive home, he got postponed a day on the cruise and had to stay due to weather. The entire time he was on the cruise he was asking me if I would go on a cruise with him and his family in September and wanted to book something, we planned vacays, and he was telling me how he hates spending this much time away from me.

The second he gets off this boat, this man drives directly to my work to wait for me because he cannot wait another second to see me and we had a great time. Then the following day we went to a restaurant and he asked me to be his gf and told me I love you for the first time, which I agreed to but I didn't say it back because although I feel the same way I just needed a bit more time. I get a bit scared in relationships that someone is going to leave so I wanted to wait. Then we took a trip to Philadelphia together and he asked me to meet his family, which went really well and on the drive back he spoke to my mom on the phone.

Then when I was at his parents house in his room (he still lives with his parents, no hate in this economy) I found an open condom wrapper and a 1/2 empty box in his nightstand. I wasn't snooping, he was standing right there, I was just curious. So on the way home we argued about this and I specifically told him that if he wanted to sleep around then he should break up with me and leave me out of his life because I was under the impression that we were going to build a life together and he continued to insist that this wasn't an issue and that he loves me. I drop it after we get home and we go to sleep.

The next morning was a Sunday, we woke up and I felt like something was off. He left my apartment but asked for an extra hug and I just felt it. I was on the way home from church and I asked him if we could talk about everything that happened the night before. He said he needed some time to process it and then I asked if were breaking up, he gave me a run around answer but finally ended it on how we wanted different things and the same issues were going to keep coming up. Then he said he needed to work on himself and he never looked back. It was months of a loving consistent man that ended in a single phone call.

I asked him if we could talk in person or on the phone and there were some phone calls and text messages but it was like he was a completely different person. We ended up meeting in person a week later and he was cold and distant like our relationship never even happened. I'm still so confused at what happened and if I somehow led to the demise?