I’m still in love with my ex

This is my first time posting on here, so please be gentle with me. I (21) broke up with my gf (21) yesterday because we can’tgive each other what we need, no matter how hard we try or how much we want to (which is a lot). She is how learning to process, understand and consider her inner world and feelings(while also having immigration issues because the immigration system in our country and her parents failed her dismally), I have just re-started uni (after having the gap year where we started dating), I am a big sister to 3 youngens while our parents are getting divorced, and figuring out a lot of new aspects of myself (I’m an autistic starting to unmask). So we found ourselves in a place where I was the emotional infrastructure of the relationship and she was the active part. She’d say something thoughtless, I’d be hurt and have to explain why I understood or didn’t understand why she did what she did, why it hurt me and what she was actually trying to get across to me and how to do that next time. Then I’d have school the whole week only get to see her on Friday- Monday morning (which meant I barely got time to myself or with my sisters) where the entire time I’m either sleeping, working or watching anime because I’m exhausted (emotionally and physically) only for her to the say another thoughtless thing and the cycle continued. She’d understand why something hurt in a certain situation but when the situation was kinda different she couldnt identify that it has the same “themes” as times before. This started to frustrate and hurt me deeper and deeper. I finally came to the conclusion that I was tired and had nothing left to give and because of our dynamics there were parts of myself I felt I couldn’t show her so we broke up.

The issue is I love her, I love her more then anything in this world, more the I’ve loved anything. She loves me so well in the aspects she does understand. She tries to make sure I never have to lift a finger cause my life is so exhausting, she’s thoughtful with her gifts and words (when not in a situation that confuses her, floods her with emotion or takes a lot of emotional understanding). She treats me like something and someone truly precious. She’s so smart and kind and funny. She’s an angel of a person and that isn’t me pedestaling her, she truly is. My question is how do I get through this? We want to work to get back together but the work is intensive self discovery, me figuring out how to always be me and her figuring out how to hold her own inner world and someone else simultaneously. how do I do this? It feels like I’m dying sometimes.. like something not alive is sitting in my throat, how do I explore when the only person I want to know isn’t right for me rn? How do we give each other space but stay close cause we want to? How do we do this?