I feel so tired of living

Hi, I don't know why I am writing this here. I have been feeling very depressed lately and asking for help is not an option. Today when I was in class, I was thinking of k*lling myself today after reaching home. I know everyone feels that at some part of their life and I shouldn't be blabbering about it because everyone endures it silently and lives life so should I. But, the idea of living, having to do so much work in order to survive, and growing up feels like a hassle because I know my end goal is to die. I know sooner or later, the day will come when I'll do it. I feel like an attention seeker lol. But really, I am tired of not talking about it. Everything feels pointless. And I feel like a burden, a disappointment to the people around me and myself as well. I wish I could donate my life to someone who has the will to live. I don't. I'm so tired of it. I just want to sleep and not wake up for like the next 10 quadrillion years. I don't understand why was I even born. All I do I think about not being alive. But here I am, doing the assignments due tomorrow, all well and alive. I really wish I could do it. But what if I miss? I don't even have a problem big enough to explain why I would attempt it. I just don't wanna be alive. I so much wish something really bad would happen to me and I wouldn't have to explain my death. I'm sorry for not being grateful of this life. I'm sorry. I really want to be happy too. But I just can't escape this feeling. I'm sorry for taking this life for granted. I'm really sorry.