I was just a placeholder

I still wish her well and I want her to live a happy life. I am mostly over it by now and honestly, I may be better off without her. Pero tangina, what pisses me off is that kaya naman pala niyang maging devoted, loyal, and loving na partner dun sa bago niya. Why couldn’t she have been that for me???? Is it because I don’t have a lot of money? Is it because she didn’t feel a connection with me? Wala akong nakuha kundi puro kasinungalingan to the point na ngayon, I don’t even know if what we had was real. I don’t even know if anything she said was real.

Looking back at everything, I never really felt loved pala talaga. I just convinced myself that she loved me kahit na everything she did and everything she made me feel spoke the truth—she didn’t love me at all. Convenient lang ako at the time and when she finally had a shot with the person na gusto niya talaga, she can easily discard me as if I meant nothing to her or idk maybe I really didn’t matter to her nga. So much for being soulmates 🙃