I wanna obliterate myself

Went to a church revival type meet, found out crush was there, i wanted to talk to her. I had talked to her before but always online, she knows i love her coz i told her. She was sitting right behind me, her bf(who i had no prior knowledge of) comes right up and talks to her. i left speechless. what am i even to do right now? what am i even supposed to feel?