Knowing the truth about my sister broke me

Di talaga kami close ng ate ko because of age gap. For a long time, I always believed na pangit ugali niya. She had a child at an early age and my earliest memory is my mom having to take care of her child para lang makapag work siya. She was barely present sa life ng child niya because she accepted work opportunities that will require her to go out of the town most of the time. She eventually went abroad and had to hide working kasi under student visa lang siya.

She barely had anything when she went abroad and knowing life outside, iba talaga cost of living. Kahit di kami gaanong ka close, we still do video calls and such and sometimes I’ll hear her say things like pagod siya kasi naglilinis siya ng banyo ng mga establishments just to make a living. Washing dishes sa chinese restaus, serving tables sa korean restaus, cleaning multiple rooms in an apartment building all the while studying.

Honestly, during those times, I had little to no awa pag dating sa kanya. I always viewed her as someone na deserve yun kasi she failed to fulfill her promises sa parents namin while going on a shopping spree and having all the luxury dinners and travels of the world.

Recently lang, my sister and I had a heart to heart talk. All these time pala, we were treated differently by our parents. I realized, the reason why I grew such resentment towards her is because all these time, akala ko same treatment kami and the image of her that was taught to me is bad. I had a rough childhood however growing up, I was always given the freedom to do what I want. I even had the luxury to choose my own college course which is a medical course. Growing up, I always thought that my sister was ungrateful and is extremely selfish. Not until our heart to heart talk.

My sister shares that even as a young teenager, she was always taught to marry a foreigner para mabuhay niya kami. She was barely bought any clothes for washdays sa schools and even shoes. When she went to college, she became a working student to sustain our parents and her schooling. So imagine the shock of our parents when she became pregnant. She had to stop working kasi nga buntis na siya and during that time, our parents was so mad kasi kailangan ni mama mag trabaho para lang may makain kami.

My sister didn’t leave my pamangkin sa mama ko. I was still a child that time so I had little to no memory. The reason why I believed na pinalaki ng parents ko yung pamangkin ko is because whenever mag aaway kami ng ate ko, I always tell them na walang utang na loob ate ko sa parents namin despite leaving her child sa parents namin just so she can work and di rin ako kinocorrect ng parents. The reason why she agreed to work kahit mapalayo siya is because may kasunduan sila ng parents ko na babantayan nila ang bata under the condition na babayaran niya sila. I always believed they did it for free out of love. I genuinely believed that our parents are good people.

She had to work para mabayaran parents namin sa pag bantay ng anak niya, at the same time to support our family. Even nung naging student na siya sa labas ng bansa, I always thought na di siya nagpapadala kasi always nagrereklamo parents namin na wala daw padala or kulang pero during our talk, she showed me receipts of her sending money halos every 3 days while staying afloat abroad. Tinitipid niya sarili niya just so that makapagpadala siya ng 10-15k per week.

Our parents are telling her pala every time nanghihingi sila na hassle daw ang pag alaga sa bata and are basically guilt tripping her. Even saying lies like wala na pagkain and such and even using my pamangkin to lie to her na wala na makain, gas, and the likes. She had no choice para magpadala just for the sake of her kid.

Our parents kept on abusing her and is basically using her child as hostage. Which is now over kasi nakuha niya na anak niya. My sister still loves our parents so she feels guilty every time di siya nakakapagpadala. She’s still learning to put boundaries pero there are times that she’s still easily manipulated by our parents.

As for me, I became wary of our parents kasi I thought I had the perfect magulang pero knowing what they did to my sister, I had to question everything good that they’re doing kasi natatakot ako na gagawin din sa akin.

My sister and I are now closer than ever and are talking to each other from time to time. We said our sorry and are helping each other to cope.

Sa mga katulad ko, please don’t be resentful sa mga kapatid natin because we don’t know what they’re going through. I was completely blinded by what my parents did and I hate how I wasn’t there for my sister when she was suffering. My heart goes out to all bread winners and even victims of favoritism.