I waited on someone for a year. and got betrayed.

I was talking to a girl on reddit after noticing we had a lot of similar posts. We started talking and bonded really quickly. We had so much in common, and talking to her felt surprisingly easy. She was kind, relatable, and made me feel understood in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. She said she felt similarly about me too.

Pretty early on, she told me she had a very hard time with school and that it made her stressed and depressed. About two months in, we were having normal conversations and then she suddenly disappeared for a month. No explanation, nothing. I started trying to detach myself because I assumed that was the end.

Then suddenly, she came back with the most vague message ever.
"Sorry I'm sick I can't text"
I asked later what happened and if she ever feels pressure from me, but she said "no its not you I just have really stressful periods with school". I believed her. We went back to talking almost daily again, had more really nice conversations, and at one point she even agreed that meeting each other someday would be nice after her school period was over.

A couple months later, she warned me in advance that she was going into another stressful period and wouldn’t be able to text. she warned this time and i was greatful for that.
she came back after 20 days. we texted casually again. she'd drop hearts here and there and I genuinely felt a spark at this point.

Then about two months after that, we were having the most casual conversation about easter. Nothing serious, nothing tense. She was replying normally, asked what I was going to cook for Easter, and said she was visiting a lot of family and wouldn’t be able to text much. I sent her a photo of what I cooked and asked how her Easter was.

she never texted me again.

and it put me in a weird position because, I had to assume it must be another stressful period for her so obviously i would just wait on her, she got mad about repeating herself about what happened. i told myself I'll give her 2 months max and I'll move on.

Unfortunately it was really hard to move on.

It was very hard to let go because near the end she had still been sending hearts, warm messages, and talking in a way that made it feel like the connection was real. It didn’t make sense to me that someone could leave things that open and affectionate if they were planning to disappear for good.

Days turned into months and months turned into a whole year. I waited a whole year. I sent her messages about once every month, just wishing her the best and that i'm still open to talk. but it drained me too much. I felt stuck in this weird inbetween where I had no closure, but couldn’t fully move on either.

I then commented on one of her reddit comments asking if she read my dm's, she downvoted my comment and privated her account. and well. i guess I finally got my answer.

Instead of just saying something simple like, “I don’t think this is going to work,” or “I don’t want to continue talking,” she chose to ghost me and leave me carrying all the confusion for a year. She left me to figure it out alone while I kept holding onto something that clearly wasn’t coming back.

I know I probably should have let go sooner. I know I got too emotionally attached. But when someone is warm, affectionate, and keeps coming back after disappearing before, it’s hard not to believe there’s still something there.

Man.