I called my abusive ex

in a weak, lonely moment. I had been thinking of him a lot, good and bad.

A couple weeks ago I was drinking at home by myself. I got tipsy pretty quick and early into the evening and my thoughts turned to him. we havent spoken in months. I havent seen him in well over a year.

I know he heard in my voice how close I was to being drunk. we talked a bit and I "jokingly" said for him to come over. He told me to have another drink. we talked a bit more and I was on the way to sloppy drunk. I asked him again to come over and he said he could be there in maybe 30 mins.

By the time he got to the house, I was drunk. I answered the door in an oversized T-shirt and panties and I could feel him look me up and down. Our relationship was so confusing, he was abusive, but we had fun a lot of times. I craved the sexual abuse at times and the exploitation. my heart was racing.

He came to sit with me on the couch and he had a couple quick swigs of liquor. asked me if I've fucked anyone since him (no). started asking me if I missed it, that he knew he was the best I ever had. He told me I was still the tightest pussy he ever had and the best fuck.

I wanted to say no, but the alcohol had me feeling stupid and wobbly. He started rubbing my pussy lips through my panties, then moving my panties aside. His fingers found my hole and he commented on my wetness.

"Lay back and open your legs." it wasn't a request, it was instruction. He pushed two thick fingers into my pussy. I tightened instantly, and he pumped in me in a fucking motion. I could hear the wetness of my cunt and I felt a little embarrassed? He tried to get three fingers in, and was able to, but when he tried to do four, it hurt so much he stopped. he pulled his fingers out of me.and shoved them in my mouth, telling me to suck my own juice off his fingers. his breathing had changed. as he climbed on top of me i could feel his erection.

he started kissing my neck, made me take my top off. he slid my panties off. I tried to slow him down and he told me to quit fucking teasing him. his entire weight was on me now, my legs wide open. He took his pants and underwear off and his cock was hard. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to fuck him. My head was spinning as he slid his cock into me. it filled me up and I gasped as he began fucking me hard. he grabbed my throat and made me look in his eyes as he pounded my cunt.

he knows I hate receiving oral. due to my past trauma. I can orgasm from it but I don't like it. He pulled out of my pussy, got off the couch, kneeling in front of me. he told me to open up my legs. he made me finger myself in front of him while he watched. I could feel tears coming to my eyes. He brought his face closer to my pussy, he opened me up and he started licking and kissing. He put his fingers in me and was surprisingly gentle. He made a remark asking if this made me think of when I was younger. He kept saying oh you love this, you're gonna cum, you can't help it as he fingered me, rubbing my clit and opening up my pussy like he was examining it. Kept telling me to listen to how wet I was. He brought his mouth back to my clit and went to work. My face was burning with shame as I felt my orgasm building. I couldn't hold it back anymore and I began to cum, tears falling as my clit and pussy throbbed and pulsed under his fingers and mouth.

When I was done, he told me to turn over. I knew what he was about to do. I let him do it because it wasn't worth it to fight. My asshole burned with pain when he thrust his cock in me, but I knew it wouldn't be long. He fucked my ass roughly, demanding that I talk to him, that I call him daddy. I begged "daddy" to cum in my tight little asshole, and that did it:

"Please daddy please give me your cum, I'm your whore, I'm your whore"

He let it go and filled me up with his cum. I fell asleep eventually, drunk and ashamed, sore all over, with cum leaking out of me. He left at some point before morning. We texted the next day and he said to let him know next time I'm drinking.