I realized why I prefer BL novels over romance with female leads, and it’s kind of a messy reason

So this is a slightly uncomfortable realization I had about my own reading habits, and I’m curious if anyone else relates.

I read a lot of BL(Danmei) novels and I enjoy them a lot. I can fully root for the characters, celebrate when they get love, praise, power, attention, or just a happy ending. I never feel weird about it - I just feel happy for them.

But when I read romance novels with a female lead, sometimes I notice something unpleasant: I start feeling a bit jealous of the female protagonist when she gets everything she “deserves” - the love interest’s devotion, admiration, or the perfect relationship.

The weird part is that this only happens in fiction. In real life I genuinely celebrate other women’s success, attractiveness, and happiness. I don’t compare myself to them and I like seeing other women do well.

But with novels, something about reading from a female protagonist’s perspective sometimes triggers this comparison feeling in my brain, even when I don’t want it to.

With BL novels, that comparison completely disappears. I can just enjoy the story without that weird emotional reaction. I never feel like I’m subconsciously measuring myself against the character.

Another detail that might matter: I started noticing this pattern after an emotional experience, which makes me wonder if that changed how I emotionally engage with romance stories.

So now I’m curious:

• Does anyone else find BL novels easier to enjoy because you don’t compare yourself to the characters?

• Or have you noticed your reading preferences change after a breakup or emotional experience?

I’m not sure if this is a common thing or just a weird quirk of my brain, but I’d love to hear other people’s perspectives.