At a turning point in my life

Long story short I’m 37 husband is 39, been married for 12 years (we met and started dating when I was 19). We have three Daughters 10, 7 and 4. We have always had a toxic pattern of very mean fights but then we would make up and come back around and try again. Well over the last two years, the cycle is not quite coming back around like it used to. Our kids are getting older and they can def see and feel the tension. Our marriage has gotten to the point where it’s completely toxic probably 75% of the time and we avoid each other 20% and maybe get along and try 5%. I have been considering divorce for a while not but I’ve never been more serious about it now. The thing that stops me is thinking about making my kids split homes and only seeing them 50% of their lives. It literally has made me want to sacrifice my own happiness for years but at this point I can’t really deny that this is probably not healthy for them. For co text we were in marriage counseling for the last 6 months and we have spent thousands of dollars over time on intensives and everything. I don’t want to blame my husband for it all it takes two to fail but he’s incredibly emotionally immature and petty. I would say he’s borderline emotionally abusive and definitely verbally abusive. Again not placing blame I have done my own therapy and have grown a lot because I used to be verbally abusive also.

I wish that there was a person or a therapist on this planet that could tell me that my kids will be ok. I can’t fathom sacrificing their peace, happiness and stability for my own. Their lives financially and their routines will change greatly and I feel so much fear and guilt for that. Neither my husband or I grew up in divorced homes. I just don’t think I can try in this marriage anymore I have wasted way too much time being miserable and life is short. Will my kids be ok if I file? And will

I be okay only seeing them 50%?