Relationship shame

I’m struggling in the relationship area and currently am going to a rough patch with my partner that resembles the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic, where I am the pursuer.

I have been in therapy for years but I’m feeling a lot of anxiety and shame coming up. Anxiety that this relationship will fail too, but also that I’m just incapable, that I’m not making my partner happy and I even project my shame on her friends. That they see I don’t make her happy and that they secretly hope she gets a different partner.

I think in general I am a kind person, or at least I try to be, but I’m just looking for advice to get through this without having my anxiety self sabotage.