What are your long-term experiences with benzodiazepines?

I have been dependent on benzos for 10 years, and the after-effects are very noticeable, such as the deterioration of my cognition and memory. I have a self-perception of 'dementia' and a 'permanent' dissociation from my 3D character—as if my spirit or consciousness had 'undone' my persona. It’s as if the masks I didn't even notice before (due to the mental programming we all face since childhood) have been stripped away, manifesting the face of my demons without filters. I feel a sense of neutrality toward events that used to be emotional. I feel that my current self-perception is the result of 10 years of countless pills and a lot of cannabis in my system; I feel like I might have gone too far and can't find my way back. Now, I look in the mirror with a blank stare, wondering who is in control. I still have faith that I will free myself from Clonazepam (I’ve been off weed for 3 months), but benzodiazepines are a long-term curse. Just venting my experience.