Financially free in my late 30s but struggling with alcohol and purpose in life

I’m struggling with alcohol and purpose in life, looking for honest experiences

I’m male in my late 30s from the UK. Financially I’m in a very fortunate position. I’ve built some businesses and investments and I’m basically retired now. I don’t need to work anymore and I have plenty of free time.

On paper life should be great, but I’m honestly a bit stuck now I’ve “made it”. If I’m honest, the chase was much more exciting than actually getting there, although I do realise I’m also very lucky.

My main social thing since I was 16/17 has always been going out for drinks at the weekend. I don’t drink daily but normally once or twice a week I’ll binge drink with friends, or sometimes just at home playing poker on my laptop.

At the time it’s fun, but the days after can be rough mentally. Sometimes I feel low, anxious or just “off” for several days afterwards. Occasionally it even feels like it lasts a week or two but can’t be sure if that’s the effect of the last binge

The problem is alcohol feels like the only thing that really breaks the week up, and it definitely helps me be more social which is a plus. In the past I’ve gone months without drinking, but at times I just felt completely fed up and bored. Without it weekends can feel a bit empty.

At the same time I’m starting to question whether alcohol is actually messing with my brain more than I realise.

A few things about me:

• I play padel and golf regularly

• My diet is probably 50/50 healthy and junk

• I have kids and spend a lot of time with them

• I have money and time, but sometimes feel a lack of purpose

• When I don’t drink for long periods life can feel a bit flat socially

• My mood also seems quite up and down throughout the day. Sometimes I suddenly feel tired, low or “meh” for no obvious reason. I also get these strange uncomfortable feelings in my head, almost like pressure. It’s hard to describe, but it makes me feel a bit on edge while it’s happening and it comes and goes in waves.

I’m curious about a few things and would really appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced something similar:

1. Did you notice alcohol affecting your mood or brain days or even weeks after a binge?

2. If you stopped drinking, did life feel boring for a while before it improved?

3. What did you replace drinking with?

4. If you had financial freedom and lots of free time, how would you structure your life?

5. How do you break up the week without alcohol?

Would genuinely appreciate hearing your experiences.