[M4F] Accidentally giving my address to a girl raised by porn

I sit and stare at the blank prompt on a singles site. This'll be the 5th time I've rewritten this dating profile and then immediately deleted it. I sit back in my chair and cave in to the frustration. The thing is, writing what I'm supposed to write on these things is just so... Dull. Boring. It makes you feel like another template man casting a net into a pond full of template people. Is this really what we need to do to attract the fairer sex these days? Whatever happened to just meeting people at a bar? I can't take it. If I read another profile claiming to love traveling, long walks, and food I'll explode. Fuck it...

My hands reach to the keyboard and I dance over the keys with renewed vigor:

"Utter dedication. That's what my cock needs. It needs to be stroked just so. Licked just so. Cuddled just so. There's an art to loving my cock, I'm sure of it. And I want a girl that wants to get molded into my perfect selfless cock princess who gets all her enjoyment from my enjoyment. Someone who wants to get addicted to the taste of me.

There's been too many 'average' experiences in my life - dry handjobs, missionary, blowjobs with no enthusiasm. Enough of that. If that's all you want, move on. I need a girl that can't rest easy for the day until she's tasted my cum on her tongue. Someone who will treasure my cock more than my wife ever will.

Shit, if that's you, don't even respond. Just sneak into my life. I live at 123 makebelieve street. Y Town."

I smile to myself. That felt almost cathartic. Though there's no way I'm sending it. It admits far too much about my marital status. And posting my actual address? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Besides - What right minded woman would be attracted to that? Unicorns don't exist.

I hit cancel, close the lid to my laptop hand head out for a drink. But it turns out I didn't hit cancel. I accidentally hit post. The advert is out in the wild and I have no idea.

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Everything open to change in the spirit of fun! Send me whatever an orange envelope is these days with your take!

Kinks: Spit play, drool, deep throat, cheating, condom removal, sneaking around, ball worship, cock warming, dressing up, clothing control, cum play, little black dresses, facials, cute little gagging noises...