toxicity - a love story

WHY DO I ATTRACT TOXIC ASSHOLES. WHY AM I A TOXIC ASSHOLE ?!?! im either in a relationship with toxic or their in a relationship with toxic (aka me). talking to someone NEW, someone NOT my type at all, whos absolutely chill, normal, has no issues. quiet, funny.... and yet im like letsss sabatoge!!!! lets argue !!!! LETS GET TOXIC. and I dont know why. all my exes are toxic. im still finding myself thinking of the last guy I was talking too that was a complete dick to me and quite frankly, a woman hater all around. and yet I have someone right in front of me who is actually a GOOD PERSON and im just like ehhh i dont know ???? I was listening to "miss the misery" by halestorm today as it randomly came up on my shuffle and it hit me like a ton of bricks bc why do I resonate with this song so much 😭 i miss fighting and being a bitch and someone being an asshole to me. i miss my heart being heavy. FMLLLLLLLLL im tired boss. how do I stop this. how do I NOT MISS THIS BULLSHIT. i dont wanna be like this or be with someone like this.