My (35M) wife (33F) is fighting, yelling, humiliating me, how can i respond?

Background: Me (35M) and my wife (33F) are married for 12+ years, both working. Last 5 years severe issues — little communication, frequent fights, short improvements. Wife regularly talks divorce, blames me for failure. 1 year couples therapy, no result. We both admit that we've passed by many couple crises without learning its lessons. Wife's taking antidepressants since 4 months, but irregularly - she can skip a few days.

Her pattern: Divorce talks, demands money like i owe her something (we still share family costs), tells me to "get out of house" (the mortgage is for both of us), devalues ('you'll be alone forever'). 90% yells, ignores requests to calm/respectful tone. Blocks way, pushes if I try to pass, fights, hits, rips clothes. Hit my head multiple times, I said "do it again and I call police". Now only pushes. Kids (6 & 8) see/hear fights, she won't stop when I ask.

Couple therapist advised me to open up for her, "share my gems", but she quickly weaponizes my vulnerabilities (35yo crisis, work issues, few friends, dad died) in fights. Examples: 'you're worse than your father' (after dad's death, and she didn't know my father any good), 'I have family, you have no one forever' (after I shared loneliness), "i'm sick of your bad mood" (after me sharing how bad i feel sometimes).

She'll be throwing my clothes, kicking me out of bedroom even though she sleeps in the living room (i mean not physically, verbally and by just staying there, yelling on me), follows me to other rooms, won't let me do what i'm doing. I feel like an intruder in my home, treated like a doormat.

My question: How to escape this, what to say/do? Which approach should i choose with her? I could consider the same tactics as hers, but i consider not doing it as my strength. I could fight back physically/verbally but I think it's wrong, so I don't do this - i won't insult, i won't degrade or hit her weak spots. And i do understand that this might be caused by her AD treatment and how she takes it. I don't want to lose contact with kids. Feels like she goes unpunished, which is worsening things. What are my best reactions/actions in moment? Long-term steps?

TL;DR Wife is abusing me mentally/verbally/physically, i don't want to respond with the same, but i don't know what to do.