I realized I can be so evil when I get hurt or betrayed!

I give multiples chances for someone to change their behaviors that is hurtful but once I got pushed over the edge. It is harder for me to come back to my initial feelings or perception about that person. I tend to lash out, crash out, and run my mouth with a lot of hurtful things towards that person which I know couldn't take back. I feel guilty at first, so I seek forgiveness and apologize but deep inside I never regret everything bad and hurtful I said towards that person.