I offered myself to someone out of guilt

As you might know, when I turned 18 I started replying to men messaging my socials. No matter how innocent they started, it wouldn't take long for the conversation to turn dirty. And as someone with a pathological need to be an obedient people pleaser, I kinda liked turning my brain off and doing what I was told.

Anyway, there was this guy in his early 40s. There was nothing special about him. He was a chubby, average looking uncle with an average cock. He was a father and a husband. He sucked for messaging an 18 year old but I was too immature to care.

We did some stuff like dirty talking, sending nudes, fantasizing about meeting up and video chatting. I could tell it was ages ago when he and his wife last did it. He was too desperate to even see me in my underwear. I took advantage of him and he sent me a lot of money over a year. I showed and teased him just enough to keep him on the hook.

I used his precious money to buy myself clothes for whoring around in university, when he could have used it on family. And when I was in my university era, I started to feel horrible about it. I was doing unspeakable things with random mofos for free. I thought I could have made him happy with a lot less. I could just spread my legs for him for 10 minutes max and I would leave guilt free.

So I reached out to him and we started talking. Unsurprisingly, he was in the process of divorce lol. We started dirty talking, sending nudes and video chatting again.

I asked him, "Did you recognize my face or my ass?" He probably had other bitches on a payroll too lol. I told him how much money he had sent me and that I felt like I needed to pay him back somehow.

So we arranged to meet up. He was a truck driver. He was going to pick me up from the road and drop me off at a bus station after travelling for a week together.

I told him that I was his property for a week and my boundaries were hard to cross. And I said, "Every time I say no to you, you can keep me with you 1 week longer. And if you want, you can bring one more cock that I have to take care of."

I gathered all my sex toys and sexiest outfits and underwear. I wore thigh highs, a skirt mini enough to show my panties underneath and a regular oversize t-shirt. I wore these to get him to treat me like a slut and push my limits. I was waiting for him at 4 am in the morning on the side of a highway. I looked like a prostitute, he had even prepaid my price. It was freezing outside but he needed to know that being a half naked slut and giving him easy access into my panties was more important to me. And the wind was revealing my boobs like dick print effect in sweatpants.

Anyway, I got into his truck and after about an hour he pulled over a road pocket. It was surrounded by the woods and the trees. He locked the doors and turned off the light. We started making out while he slowly pulled me onto his lap and felt me up.

He then stripped me down and I was only left with my thigh high socks. He was biting my nipple and spreading my butt cheeks so hard. It was hurting a little and I was screaming with pain. I had never been that horny in my life. Not because of him or the things he was doing. I was so horny because I had put myself in a situation where I was being used by someone else and I was at a point of no return from the promises I made. I was so horny that he could bring 15 of his friends from the union to gangbang me in the trailer at the back, and I would be excited about it lol.

I started begging him for his cock. He slid into my pussy and I started jumping up and down on it. When he was close, I got on my knees and crammed into the floor. The floor was dirty and the little rocks were hurting my knees. I throated his cock and was licking it with my tongue. And then he started thrusting it back and forward. As there wasn't much space, he was banging my head against the dashboard too lol. I lost some brain cells until he blasted inside my mouth. He continued to thrust his cock with his cum in there. And the blowjob ended with me coughing and his cum dripping down.

After that, he got back on the road and only allowed me to wear my panties. He made me give him some occasional road jobs.

Since I really really like being tied and giving men complete control with what to do to me, I brought my handcuffs with me. He handcuffed my hand to the grab handle. I spread my legs over the dashboard and used my vibrator on myself. When I was not being used for road jobs or anything, I was playing myself next to him, moaning and begging for his cock, with my tits out for everyone on the road to see lol.

Other than that, we did a few different positions on his bed at the back. He came inside my ass and pretty much all over me over the week.

He also sent me to the gas stations by myself to get him cigarettes and stuff. With a condition: I dressed up sexy. I had brought extra outfits in case he wanted me to look different from time to time. First time, I wore my transparent top that show my tits and cleavage and my mini skirt that draws attention to my sexy legs in fishnets. Gradually though, he made me show more and more skin.

These might sound kinda fake but it was actually just hooking up with a trucker for a week and some spicy exhibitionist kinks. And I live this kind of a life because being a slave to men's satisfaction soothes my anxiety and silences the noises in my brain. I know what I am expected and I can just accomplish them like side mission in a game, which is fulfilling. Also, I love experimenting. I really love it. I love experiencing the danger of buying a pack of cigarettes from a sketchy gas station with my underwear showing. I love someone banging my head to the dashboard with each thrust instead of simply sucking cock in front of the couch. And I think, what's the worst that could happen? They might wanna touch or fuck me? Okay? And I can just offer more and more.

Anyway, I lost myself in the details and this got too long. I'll keep on writing about some of my experiences. You can ask me about specific fantasies and if I have done anything like that, I could post it too.