do they like me?

heyy guys, I don't really know how I should start the questions or if it's more polite to greet everyone first, so I'll do that. Hey guys, I'm bell (not my real name dw) and I'm a junior in highschool (is that dangerous to admit online idk😭😭) but um, yeahh i like books and shows and i write a little bit and I've played almost every sport at the school level (except cricket and hockey) and i loveee comics and yeah, that's about it, really. SO YEAH, REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS!!! :))

so um basically I needed some advice? because there's three guys in my life that a lot people think like me (one of which just got confirmed haha) and I'm really confused because it's a lot of mixed signals and I've never actually had a crush so I don't really understand it, but I guess just wanted to know. also for context, i life in a very conservative type country in a city that's even more conservative, so if I ever mention any kind of intimacy, like physical, emotional, types, it's a really big deal cause girls and guys aren't even really allowed to be friends without judgement. so um yeah, touching and stuff is a big deal basically😔😔.

so um yeah, let's get into it, GUY NUMBER #1. so basically, I've known him since I joined my school back in the eighth grade and he's that typical super duper popular, smart, sport's champion, debate champion fuckboy types? and like literally, in the years I've known him, he's had genuinely 38 ex girlfriends. and like we used to be super competitive in the eighth grade and are even now, and like we had the whole academic rivals to friends pipeline? like we used argue about the best grades, the fastest lap times, and we'd basically end up paired together for everything and every interschool competition we'd be together and years on, when the head boy/head girl (the highest position in student council) was announced, we were it. and yk you get what I'm saying? like.thw whole academic rivals thingy and we get each other cause of parental pressure and growing up differently to your peers (we lived in other countries as kids) and everyone we know has been shipping us since we were literally 12 years old? (and like over the years, we've gone from competitors to each other's closest friends and whenever we're together, we've got tears in our eyes from laughter and you get me, like very very high school romcom vibes)

and like recently, I did a really ambitious project that I really shouldn't have been able to pull off and like he's been there for me soo much? like he doesn't really come to school anymore cause he's preparing for competitive exams or whatever, but he's been taking time off from that for so long to help me with this? and it's kind of been a pattern in our relationship? like we'll argue and fight (always in a joking way though) but whenever I needed someone, whenever I needed help cause i overcommitted on a project and fear of failure whatver- he's always always always been there? whether it be here or a year ago with another play I directed, or an eighth grade poetry competition, like he's always been there for me? he knows which of my anxiety medication to give me when I'm having a panic attack and just recently, he like held my hand before we went onto the stage and he was literally shaking with how proud he was of me? cause I'd actually pulled off a near impossible project? and like obviously the big hugs and lots of touchiness and giggles and just ove, you get what I'm saying?

like so basically, till a couple days ago, I wasn't sure if he actually did like me, because everyone did say he did, like they've been very persistent rumors about us since we met, but especially since we directed that play together two years ago, and apparently he's been looking at me with lovey dovey eyes since then) and like he gives me.his coat always bc I'm always cold somehow and i go to all his events and he comes to mine and it's like married for 20 years type banter and bickering? (according to my best friend lol) but I didn't really believe the rumors) but recently, after the aforementioned project i did, we all went out to the afterparty and everyone was so proud and delirious and him and i spent most of the day together giggling away, and we live close by so we shared a cab and then he walked me to my door and he always stands at the side of traffic and he's the classic gentlemen types- so anyway, he confessed, very nicely very polite and we spoke for hours about what that meant in the park in my area in the biting cold and everything and basically, even the last few days that we've spoken (i haven't answered yet, just told him that most likely it's a no) but we talked a lot and he's so so so so sure it's almost scary?

like my thing is, I can't understand why he feels different about me to the other girls and obviously my biggest reason to say no was that he's a fuckboy and all that, the typical sleep with a girl and then pretend nothing happened sorts and he's done it to do many people I know. and like he's been really reassuring it's different for us, that he doesn't wanna even initiate anything and it's very very serious and he's ready to the long haul long distance high school sweethearts, like he's thinking marriage and houses and bickering over movies and Justin bieber and I just don't get it? why am I the exception? like he's never been like this with anyone, cause I'm friends with a lot of his ex girlfriends so I know, but like this kind of commitment he'd never give to anyone but he's so so so sure but I don't wanna date a Playboy and I have a bad feeling it's all a joke, (and my best friend thinks that I'm delusional bc he literally called her almost in tears asking if the only reason I'm saying no, that he's losing the love of his life is bc he's been a worse person before? and he's obviously grown over the years and he's kind and hardworking and driven and I love him, but I don't think it's wise to date him, if you know what i mean?

but um yeah, basically I'm asking if you think it's a bet or just yk the bragging rights of getting with the untouchable girl (like in the sense, I've never given any boy time of day ever) or like do rich, accomplished, dreams of going to mit, boys that look like they dropped out of Vogue actually fall this head over heels for girls who've been calling them and asnine prick since they met? (and yes, i asked him about all the girls and apparently "they've only been there to try and distract him and it didn't work" because "there's no one like me" and there hasnt been another girl in almost a year since we got super close. but um yeah, he quit vaping for me and smoking too and he drinks less at parties now and he doesn't do weed and I don't know, something about it makes me feel wierd? like even writing it feels like one of those shitty romcoms where the playboy male lead falls for this nerdy girl who everyone loves and suddenly becomes an angel of a person? SO UM YEAH, THE QUESTION IS BASICALLY DO I TRUST HIM WHEN HE SAYS HE'LL WAIT FOR ME? THAT I'M THE ONE, LIKE MARRIAGE AND KIDS AND THE ONE? (and when I told him, that I'd never seen a healthy relationship that I won't be able to give him one, he said his parents have it? and they love me already? like for fuck's sake i talk to his grandmother more than she talks to him, that his parents could about toilet paper for hours and not be bored and that he's stable enough for the both of us, that his family will love me the way i deserve to be loved by family and all that wierd storybook stuff that sounds like he picked it up from a romance novel😭😭)

so yes. that's boy number one, boy number #2 however, this is where things start to get interesting because this is uncomfirmed? just based on what people have said to me and stuff. so basically remember the play I directed last year? so bc of that and before that really, the cultural head of the student council was boy number two? and we really really didn't get along at first? cause like with #1 it was just humor and banter, but with #2 it's literally I will throw a chair at you if you don't shut up? but like it's the same thing as #1 cause he's always there for me and he believes so hard and we're basically the same person and we've literally just sat and talked for 8 hours straight once and literally not realised and we the same taste in books and movies in the sense we like get each other? and like we still talk even though he's shifted schools and hasn't really kept in touch with anyone, we have?

but the issue is, his girlfriend doesn't particularly like me? and my best friend's convinced it's bc he likes me and he settled for her cause she looks kind of similar to me but isn't halfway the same argumentative, passionate fiery sort of person? (his words not mine, he drunk dialed me once after he literally left her in bed all by herself and I yelled at him for not doing proper aftercare) and like you know? like he told she's the safe choice? and will he didn't say anything about me outright my best friend has been saying he's in love with me for forever? because we've argued in front of the whole student body and the sexual tension jokes lasted for months and i never reach out first out of respect for his girlfriend, but he always always always makes sure to text me and keep tabs on me at least every month. and apparently he texts my friends whenever I'm overcommitting to a project and working myself to death and even for the ambitious project i just spoke about? like he texted me originally discouraging me to do it because my new principal and old principal were using me to get back at each other by trying to mess up my project and blame it on each other but when he saw how passionate about it I was, he texted me "but if there's anyone that can do it, it's you, baby." to be precise and he came to the opening of the project cause he was always being honored for something else and like after my show wrapped, we were standing to receive the prize and he literally ran over and he hugged me so hard I can still feel it and my best friend swears he was checking me out, like proper up and down when I was excitedly telling my cast how well they did because I was in this white victorian period dress as part of the play, and you know, everyone was catcalling us as he congratulated me, holding me for a solid five minutes off the ground?

and obviously he was so so so proud he was almost in tears, just like he was with last year's project and you.know the typical comments about omg the tension, omg soulmates (bc we love the same things and even as I was being congratulated backstage, he and I were talking non-stop) and he's like always only speaking to me and everyone jokes he always forgets other people exist when i smile with the dimples and you know? like the typical we hate each other bc we're so similar and similar family situations and dynamics and being raised by fuckups and his girlfriend who was there with him and he didn't even talk to her once and she was so mad and i always feel so bad for her😭😭 (especially because everyone was joking about all the rumors he used to have before meeting me, same friend group as guy number one, so like same playboy behaviour and he's apparently really good with his mouth and given we argue so much, I don't know. it's stupid) (and like even despite it, I'm still the first person he thinks about whenever he sees something cool and he always sends me reccs for cool cafes and movies and i, the same and you know)

but anyway I guess my question is, can a guy who thinks you're absoutely insufferable but also loves you at the same time (his words not mine) and you know like the whole rumor mill and what not, I guess what I want to know is that does he like me? and if he does, why the girlfriend? and most importantly, is there something I can do to make his girlfriend like me? because i don't wanna lose my friendship with him but I also hating hurting a woman and yeah.

and finally the big one? guy number three? the most confusing one? and unfortunately, i think maybe the guy i have the biggest "thing" for? so basically I met him doing this play, a month or so ago, like he's best friends with my ex best friend (we fixed the friendship, just fizzled out a bit but we talked and now me and her are friends and he's her friend obviously and I think mine too now?) like between him and i, it's like a different worlds sort of situation? like he's aggressively desi (like Indian like in India where I live btw, it's generally considered desi to be really connected to your language, culture and traditional practices and what not) so basically, um, he's like the typical bad boy sorts? vapes and smokes in the auditorium greenroom and gets drunk almost every weekend and is like the leadr of that group of part people boy #1 has distanced himself from bc of how much it all scares me, and it's that typical gets into fights and all of that stuff that i really really don't wanna associate myself with- but my ex best friend (whom i distanced myself from for the same reason of not wanting trouble) swore that he's a good guy and considering i was doing phantom of the opera in a random school in a tier two city in India where most of them can't even spell phantom and he's like scary smart? he downplays himself bc i guess that's cool when your whole personality is doing weed, but like outside of that, like that's just what ive heard?

like with me, he's the nicest? like when we were directing phantom, he was head of technical production and no matter what ridiculous thing I asked of him in a practically non existing budget and he literally handmade an entire chandelier just for me to drop (twice over bc i really wanted my backstage crew to practice the drop) and like when i couldn't get through to the actors, he's been spending hours literally hours staying longer than he needs to for a school project? and everyone says he doesn't care about anything, but he's always at school and hour before it starts so he can get everything ready for practice and he stays as late with me as I need to, actually entertaining even my most marginal corrections on the sets and doing them? like he has this reputation of half assing everything and that includes his friendships and relationships but from what I know of him, he's a real stand up guy?

like he always orders food for me when i forget to eat and he walks me to my cab if it's after sundown, even if it's only like a few minutes and he tries his hardest and accomplishes whatever impossible thing I ask of him and he remembers all the small stupid things I say and we have inside jokes and we stay late after school just two of us and apparently all the teachers think he's corrupting the good girl and I don't know, he seems to like it? every time I mention some reference only we two gets, he smiles like it's made his week and he's dopey for like an hour and like you know things like that? like he's apparently supposed to be this big scary, but like he's a total softie? and I don't understand the reputation? like i think everyone's lying because cmon what kind of guy could punch someone and also spend an hour talking to my two year old step brother and showing him cool mechanics in the car he's building from scrap btw. but no, like sometimes I think it's just rumors but then the other day, we were all at some spot for street food bc he's appalled i haven't grown up on proper tapri wali tea and pani puri or whatever but um so we were there and these groups of guys kept circling us on bikes and him and his close friend sent the rest of us away in cabs and he explained to me later the whole gang situation and like it was so scary? how the same boy who spends nearly 12 hours a day in school simply because I do, and he doesn't want me to be alone also is somehow the scariest boy in school? and apparently he's told all his guys to not give me any grief even if I yell at him in front of everyone and he takes a particular pride whenever I make a silly joke or something like that, like he's into the idea of corrupting me as much as the rest of school body seems to think he is? so that's the first issue, the whole, does he like the idea of ruining me like some sort of creep or is it genuine?

and then the second issue is the mixed signals? he doesn't have my number saved but he texts me for hours on end, talking me down from panic attacks and even the day before opening, he was up with me till 3, going over e everything for the millionth time bc my insomnia wouldn't let me sleep and even despite his migraines, he's the only one on the team that showed up consistently and I don't know. and like he apparently has a girlfriend or at least someone he's talking to, and she's my from cast and she's two years younger cause he generally goes after those guillable 9th graders who think he's fixable bc he writes poetry in his free time and I don't think it's serious, i think they're just like making out kind of relationship but still, I don't know, it doesn't feel right?

like everyone keeps saying he's soft for me and multiple of his friends have recorded us or clicked pictures of us giggling together and what not and like he was in the lighting booth during the opening but as soon as it was over and we'd each finished the bow and we stood together and the second we made eye contact we both burst into tears and as soon as my parents finished congratulating me and he finished up the clean up, we saw each other in the hallway and in front of everyone, like everyone, like conservative teachers and everything, i ran towards him in the dress, still crying and he caught me and he spun me around and srishti kept saying how charmed he was by me complimenting him and how giddy it made him but like i actually got to see it? like he properly squeezed me until I couldn't breathe and he fully spun me around and didn't put me down cause he just casually lift me bc of course he can, he spends 90% of his time.in the gym and even with the chemistry teacher yelling at us around decorum we were laughing and he had me pressed to a wall and it was absoutely awesome? like full high school romcom moment of spinning me around and stupid rushed little i love yous and it was perfects and yk what i mean😭😭 but then again, mixed signal cause he didn't come to the afterparty? like didn't even tell me when he left, just when I turned around to greet everyone else and got a little lost admittedly congratulating all the parents, and he just….left? and didn't tell anyone? like he congratulated everyone but left? (and all the times he's hugged me, he's warm and hard admittedly I don't particularly like the hard as a rock abs but I don't know, hugs feel the best with him, the safest?)

and look I'm not the kind of girl that likes bad boys, right, i promise😭😭 if he were actually the asshole he portrays himself as, i never would've liked him, but he's so so deeply kind? he cried when I stood up for him to the principal bc she didn't think he was responsible enough for his position and the kids in the cast love him, like love him and he's held so many of us together even when things were absolute shit and even with the migraines and the constant stream of insults from authority figures boys like him get and my own slight fear of him and his friends and how i never went up to them alone that he said himself hurt him a little, he stood with the kids? and i just. i don't know. the mixed signals, the whole thing, he doesn't follow me on instagram and whenever we talk (usually in the groupchats), it's joking jests and play fights and nothing really that deep but even now, his friends keep making references to some poetry he's wrote apparently about me and pictures they have that incriminate him and I don't know😭😭 just something about this whole situation seems fishy. so um does he like me?

ANYWAY SO YEAH THIS WENT WAYYY LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BUT THE RUMORS ARE OFFICIALLY DRIVING ME CRAZY SO I THOUGHT I'D ASK. and um yeah, whoever's read the whole thing to help me out, thank you so so much. and uh, is there a shot with boy #3 genuinely asking😭😭 and if there is, what do I do? (same goes for any of the three who's team you're on)

THANK YOUUUU :)))

-lots of love to whoever's helping or just reading or anything really, thanks for a couple minutes of your time :))

bell

(um also more context for guy no 3, apparently my friend asked him to follow me on his private acc on Instagram and he said no😭😭 like he said he doesn't follow these many girls even though he follows literally every other girl in the friend group on there, ahh😭😭)