WIBTAH if I ended things because of my wife’s illness?

As long as nothing triggers my wife we are happy, and do have occasional days where we laugh and have fun constantly. But something as small as me putting on “ugly” shoes or struggling to unlock the door for more than 5 seconds, is a trigger. Once that happens it could be as minimal as a couple hours of silent treatment to as bad as screaming in my face, slamming doors so hard things fall off the walls, throwing things, punching things close to my face, shoving me, threatening suic ide etc.

I’m well aware it’s mental illness but my wife refuses to get the proper help and then complains there’s no more options so I’m at a loss. It’s in these moments I feel like I don’t know how to live anymore. Afterwards my wife feels super guilty and then I have to be the comfort and smooth things over again but then I lay awake at night telling myself I gotta do better even though it’s never enough. I’m so ashamed so nobody in my life knows about this. My wife has no family, no friends, and no career skills so I can’t just leave, but if I was gone for good then I know my wife would be taken care of financially at least. I just don’t know if that would make me an AH because then my wife wouldn’t have anyone to take any emotions out on.