Need some feedback on these rap lyrics I wrote!

Note: | = beat boundaries 

BPM: around 90

(Verse 1)

I | keep looking | up and down | but I don’t | see across

the | road I speed a|cross drowning in | beer, replete with | thoughts

of my fallen ca|reer as a mountai|neer staring down the | plebs of the town I | left as they disap|pear out of res|pect and fear | that I’ll leave them | wrecked as mere cash|iers making daily | runs through the inter|states entering | states of great de|pression just flipping | buns for 10 bucks a | session asking me | how my day has | been while I speak in | tongues due to my pos|session by my | one chronic ob|session to never | rest till you reach the | peak and as death | nears I get high|

(Chorus)

-Poxic but euphoric

Neurotic but iconic 

Pompous but modest 

Tired but still exploring

Curious but stubborn

Furious but unconcerned

Phlegmatic but panic-stricken

Sunburned but frostbitten

Hypoxic and euphoric

Neurotic and iconic 

Pompous and modest 

Tired and still exploring

Curious and stubborn

Furious and unconcerned

Phlegmatic and panic-stricken

Sunburned and frostbitten

(Verse 2)

I | keep peering | left and right | for a beer and a | pleasant bite - too | lazy to stir | stew tonight so | suddenly I turn | to the right - a| winding exit | to the tavern | - the perfect midnight | cavern only | then I address the | blinding lights of the | portal to hea|ven or maybe | Hell! That bitch is | coming fast, bright | red as if she just | downed a flask of Jack | Daniel’s straight from the | well of the bar I’m | so close I can smell | inside her car as I’m | wishing that well | was instead a bottomless | hell where I’ll be | tortured by eternal | smoke and lava | vats and as I | choke on my air|bag I feel 

(Chorus)

Hypoxic but euphoric

Relaxed but neurotic 

Sensitive but callous 

Powerful but hapless

Burning hot but cold as ice

Darkness but bright white 

Shame but tinged with pride 

Dead but still very much alive 

Hypoxic and euphoric

Relaxed and neurotic 

Sensitive and callous 

Powerful and hapless

Burning hot and cold as ice

Darkness and bright white 

Shame and tinged with pride 

Dead and still very much alive