Love in the dark

I keep thinking about our last conversation.

You told me you weren’t perfect and I wanted to tell you that I knew.

You were telling me about your previous relationship and you seemed so vulnerable and sad. A rare moment where your emotions showed through your façade. I had to stop myself from putting my hand to your chest and then hugging you so that I can tell you that everything is going to be okay.

You loved her deeply and with such intensity that you stayed with her for 20+ years. You had consistently chosen not to give up even when you were mistreated but I understand that you had to let go when you finally had enough.

I wanted to tell you that I admired you for being courageous enough to finally see that you deserved respect in a relationship.

You told me that all you want right now is peace. You told me how you love the quiet days because you’re not being verbally abused.

I wanted to tell you that I understood that completely.

I wanted to tell you that you don’t need to be perfect to be loved. I wanted to tell you that despite your flaws and your quirks… I love you.

But I couldn’t.

Our situation is complicated. You know that. My heart cannot belong to you.

So I will say nothing, even though my heart aches with the thought that I have no right to comfort you or love you.

I will support you silently.

I will love you quietly.

But know that my arms will be there to catch you if there is ever a time that you need me to.

With all my love,

xoxo