Broken

I originally posted this in January. Everyone in this post was over 18.

Just a few nights ago my older sister took me with her to a big college party. I've never had an opportunity to go to one so it was supposed to be a fun new experience for me. It ended up not going so well. I've had some fantasies and this kink has in the past interested me, but I never had any plan to act on it, definitely not in this way.

Obviously I wanted to look hot, so I did dress up. My sister even joked before we went out that I looked like a whore, she wasn't trying to be rude and she had no problem with my outfit, it was just something to laugh about. I do think I went too far, I picked a dress that was way too short, I should not have worn heels, wearing a bra wouldn't have hurt and I should have maybe picked more modest panties.

I was having so much fun at the start. I was getting a lot of attention and eventually found myself flirting with two older boys. I had lost my sister but I didn't care too much since the two I was talking with were very attractive and nothing seemed wrong.

Looking back, I can see now that as they got to know me they realized I was someone they could take advantage of. Hooking up was in the back of my mind before going to the party, but it was never a clear intention for me at all. I wasn't able to work my way out of them pressuring me to go somewhere private together. I thought they would at most want to kiss which I think I would have been fine with. They took me to one of the bathrooms in the house that was more out of the way.

Once they locked the three of us in there I knew something was wrong and I was getting scared. I said I wanted to leave but they didn't let me. They somehow convinced me to give one of them a blowjob and after that I could go. They said it was only fair since I was leading them on which looking back I guess I was in a way.

Sucking one dick turned into sucking both of them. I didn't put much effort in since I didn't exactly want to be doing it. Even though I was not enjoying what was happening, something in me was loving how they were talking to me and treating me. I could feel myself getting wet as it went on.

My lack of enthusiasm was probably why neither of them came from me sucking. So the next thing they wanted was to fuck me. They could not convince me to accept that so they had to physically force me to get on my knees and bend over the toilet. I was telling them to stop and I truly wanted it to end, but that arousal feeling was getting so strong. My head and my body felt so disconnected, it is honestly the strangest thing I've ever felt.

I'm serious, it was literally the most intense feeling of arousal I've ever experienced while at the same time... idek.

The memory of how I felt when I had given up resisting and my panties were pulled down and the air that hit my pussy made me realize just how wet I had gotten. Once of them pointed it out, they laughed at me while I reached back to feel for myself, desperately hoping that I wasn't as wet as I imagined. No luck, I was soaked.

The sex was as confusing as everything else. I've never felt so good physically in my life. My heart was racing, I was crying and I was scared. As the first pulled out of me and the other took his place, I started cumming. Now even my mind was being taken over by what I've fantasized about. I was being used and shared by two attractive older boys who were stronger than me and didn't let me have any say. I had to remind myself what was actually happening to me.

He spanked me hard, every hit gave me a rush. He stuck a finger in my butt and instantly I started having a second orgasm. I tried to hide it but just like last time it was so obvious. They just kept laughing at me, it was so humiliating.

The one watching asked his friend if he could fuck me some more, he sounded like he had something in mind and he did. This is where everything changed for me. After everything that already happened I didn't think it could get worse or more confusing, yet it did.

I felt him spit on my back, then he wiped it down with his hand. I was expecting a finger again. No. He started working himself into my butt. I instantly reached back to push him away. He was faster than me and with one hand he pinned both my wrists down on my back and he pushed his way deeper into me.

I could not understand why it didn't hurt. He was big and I've never had more than 2 of my own small fingers in there. It was so uncomfortable don't get me wrong, as he kept going deeper I could feel the pressure and the stretch, but it wasn't the pain I expected. Even when he started fucking me harder, it was no worse than discomfort.

This part I was going to leave out because of how humiliating I found it. I can't even begin to make sense of how this happened and I hate my body for it.

I was getting off.

Not just enjoyment. I was having literal orgasms. Usually I feel them mostly in my pussy and belly area, however this was something else. My whole body felt like it was exploding, everything went cold, I could feel the goosebumps, they could see the goosebumps, they told me, still laughing at me.

His friend told him to stop fucking me before he came.

He didn't spit on me, he wiped himself over my pussy, as it grazed my clit the goosebumps came back. He told me to stop pretending I didn't like it while the his dick slid into my butt. It was no where near wet enough so they only thing I could think of doing was to spit in my hand and reach back. "Look she's helping me, she's loving it". I hated hearing that so much.

I couldn't believe it, I was getting off again.

They started switching every few thrusts once they noticed how much I appeared to like it (I didn't of course). I begged them to stop while I was still mid orgasm and this time they listened.

They tried to negotiate with me, saying I might as well just make them cum. It was so fucked up, they both switched to this gentle and caring personality. Reassuring me that everything was alright, cuddling me so nicely while they talked me into finishing them. I feel so stupid how they manipulated me so easily, how am I that fucking dumb.

One of them sat on the toilet I was just bend over, and pulled me up onto him. While cuddling me again, he convinced me to ride him.

I'm so sorry about this part. This was so my fault idek anymore. I wish I just let them do finish their own way.

He wiped a tear from my face and asked in the kindest voice, "how are you going to make me cum princess?".

I'm so so so sorry. I'm sorry.

I reached back with some more spit on my fingers and slid him back into my butt. I'm sorry. I hate that I did it. Truly.

I don't want to type out what happened to me again, I think its clear what my body did next.

He came in me straight after.

I had calmed down a lot now they weren't being so physically forceful. I almost felt used to it.

I stood up so he could get up too, and then the other came over to me and put his arm around me. "Is it my turn now princess?". In my head I was telling him to shut up but something about it was just so hot to me I don't get it.

He sat on the toilet too, and waited for me to make up my mind. I just stood there trying to process what I was doing at that point. He started complementing me I remember almost word for word what he said.

"You look so pretty like that"

"She's such a crybaby it's so cute"

"Did you shave that pretty little pussy just for us?"

Then the other one said "we haven't seen her tits yet let's take her dress off", before he came over to pull it off of me.

Now I was standing there naked expect for my heels. I was so still, just in shock I think.

My nipples were pinched and twisted while they complimented me more. But again it didn't hurt much. I felt numb to any pain.

I made up my mind. I was going to make him cum without him forcing me to. I climbed on top of him. "What hole do I get then pretty girl?"

Please don't make me write it again. You know where it went.

I think this next part might be the second worst after the orgasms for me honestly. I put my arms around him while riding him.

This is so my fault again. I have no way to justify this. I started making out with him. I'm sorry. I touched myself too.

"Do you want to try sucking my dick again but nicely?" he asked.

I don't care anymore. I did it for him. I sucked his dick nicely. I made him cum in my mouth. I hate myself so much for it.

Once things had finished they left pretty quickly. I got cleaned up on my own and then tried to find my sister. I checked my phone and she said she had already left with someone so I can go back to hers on my own (it wasn't far at all).

I wiped my ruined makeup off when I got to hers and tried to make it look like nothing happened to me. I didn't tell her, I think she knows something happened but she must think I just hooked up with someone normally.

Since it happened I've changed. I've been in a constant state of arousal. I cannot stop touching myself and crying. I've tried to recreate what happened on my own three times just to try and make sense of how I felt. I already had an addiction to edging and porn and this has triggered me to relapse so hard.

It keeps playing on my mind. What my sister said before we left, how the boys pointed out everything that would make it my fault or at least partly my fault. Like how I was leading them on and how I was dressed. I don't even know why I shaved when the most I ever do is trim, I guess I thought I might get lucky and find someone I wanted to hookup with. I also understand that sometimes we might orgasm from vaginal sex as a physical response only, however that does not help me feel any better since that wasn't the only thing that made me cum.

I hope I can feel normal again soon.