Just So Angry

This is going to be a long one, but buckle up.

I am a 30f my stbx is a 35m, we were married for 11 years together almost 12. Yes the math maths, I was 18 when we started dating. Important for what is happening.

In January we had a conversation, I was done, he wanted to work on things. The very next day I was telling him something and he rolled his eyes and scoffed. I was mad and took the dog on a walk and he texted me he wanted a divorce. I said okay. I honestly believe he expected me to fight him on it again. I didn't, I started the paperwork and the process of getting our house ready to sell. Neither of us can afford to buy the other out.

Back story to this epic drama. We have a babysitter we will call her Rose. She was a friends girlfriends daughter. We interviewed her and she started babysitting for us when she was 15. She is now 17. Our friend and her mom broke up, she has bounced from different step dads houses the last couple of months and is now living with her dad and step mom. I have only had contact with her step mom.

My stbx and I are still living together in separate rooms in the same house while we get it ready for sale June 1st.

Around Valentine's day a box showed up for my ex from a openme gift company. I didn't care didn't think much of it. I thought it was a gift for him from a lady he has been helping with her car (I thought he was seeing her, he might be). Turns out it was not. Last week he invited Rose over to hang out with our daughter on Thursday while I was working remote with her. No biggy I thought it was nice. However... Right before he left for a game night he gave her the box while I was working still, it was a pink gift box I barely saw as I came down to get something. When I gently asked about it she just said it was a gift.

Major red flags are going off for me.

However confronting my ex is not a good idea for my health. He might not physically hurt me, but he is a mental rollercoaster. Denies, deflects, places blame everywhere but himself.

I have no direct contact with her new guardians.

I checked ohoen logs after a separate concern popped up. He is spending 30+ minutes late at night on the phone with her almost daily.

If it was any adult woman I would not care. Not one bit. I am sooooo done with this person and cannot wait to sell this house and only have contact regarding our daughter.

Everything with the divorce so far has been amicable, he filled out the paperwork with me, signed it no issues. We are waiting for final divorce proceedings for the house to sell.

I don't know what to do, because this is WILDLY inappropriate. I want to confront both of them, but I don't feel like I can until I can get both myself and my daughter (5) out of the house, which I cannot do until it sells. No staying with family or friends is not an option. I don't know that I am looking for advice. Just to be so angry that this idiot of a man is doing this. He should absolutely know better. He shouldn't be doing this, and I don't want to deal with it. But I am not going to let this child be hurt by this stupidity. I'll be consulting with my therapist and a lawyer.